It can be hard if you are involved in something for so long that you get used to doing things a certain way, especially if they were done in a certain way for so long or your mind was programmed that it should be a certain way. However, there comes a time when you must understand that things do change, and you must move on from what were and realize that things do change, and it is the way that things are.

Much of my recent negative thinking revolves around the history of how things were, even though that was not the way that it was not supposed to happen all along. Just because it happened that way, it made me think for the longest time that it is the way that it is supposed to happen, even though it never was. Because of various reasons, I was fed thoughts to the contrary and when things did not go as I thought they were to be, I counteracted to them.

Without a doubt, not being able to be adherent to my medication regimen along with counteracting what medication I did have in my system by fueling it with caffeine did not help when situations got tense. When I acted out of private, always verbally, eventually it made me feel like a monster. When I had time to collect my thoughts, I realized that is the opposite of who I can truly be, and I need to work on bettering myself.

However, after the last open meltdown, I did the opposite and thankfully I worked at getting back on the right track for the better. It wasn’t easy and in fact I suffered a bit due in part to it and the move of my employer. Being without that income seen how if I did not get and keep my affairs in order that I could be struggling continually. I now know that if I ever want to move on forward and work more on better management of triggering things by not bringing up the past and moving on from it, then I must do what has been proven to work by being adherent to my medication regimen, taking care of myself and accepting things for what they are.

It takes not buying into the ways that things once were. They may run repeatedly in my head but do not help the situation in any way nor does it provide the solution that I desire. In fact, I must accept that things are not always going to go the way that I think that I need them to go. There are things that must be undertaken for me to live the life that I want to live and therefore I must endure some situations that I may not want to live, but if I am able to cope with them, then there should be nothing wrong with the way things are going.

Simply put, my life is embedded in the way that things once were and while I am reluctant to move on, to live the life that I need and want to, I simply must do so. I cannot continue to live in the past and expect things to go smoothly with changes taking effect. It is only setting me to be in the same old pattern without any improvement on my outlook on life. I must be willing to accept that things are different and not allow myself to be consumed with the way that things were because they were easier or comfortable for me. Things change. People change. I must learn that if I want to be able to do the things that I need to do to survive in life, then I must do what is necessary and be willing to accept the changes that I am facing. But ultimately, I must fully comprehend the fact that I must do all parts that require me to be well, including adhering to my medication regimen and avoiding caffeine at all costs as it is not healthy for me by no shape or form.

I must not buy into what was, instead I must learn from my mistakes, do what is right and move on. The world is ever changing, and I must be willing to accept that everything cannot go the way that I think it should be. I must be willing to accept that there are going to be changes with the way that things are going to happen and be willing to cope with them as I see it necessary.