Fighting inner battles is tough, especially if your thoughts are flawed about something. While the solution to your problem can be at times quite simple, the battle sometimes overpowers your thought process because you think you can handle things better than what others think. Yet, you realize that what you are being told all along is indeed the best thing for you.

Sometimes it is the way something is perceived. For example, one of my biggest battles is a certain medication. It can be a constant struggle if I let it be a part of that. The main concern is because of their being a flawed thought that it is to “drug” me to sleep. However, now that I am steadier and taking it regularly, I and everyone around me can see a greater sense of improvement in my mental well-being. Although this select medication helps me sleep, it is not the principal aid in my life. It is used to make my autistic traits much more manageable.

While this medication assists with being able to go and stay asleep, a common struggle that many autistic people face, and I can admit that I do as well. But the medication in question helps make many of my autistic traits appear nonexistent to the naked eye. If you would see me without knowing that I was autistic, you could hardly tell that I indeed was autistic. The medication plays a big part in helping me live life to the fullest and not have the barriers of being autistic get in the way of doing life’s essential tasks.

Essentially, I know that medication helps me so much, yet there are times when it can be quite the battle. One pill, and I mean one pill can at times be a struggle because I struggle with the fact of preparing to shut down my life from the day. The world is vastly accessible within the touch of one’s fingertips that I can be difficult to focus on getting needed rest and not being worried about missing something happening in the world. This is something that I sometimes struggle with immensely as if my world is going to end if I do not catch up on that one thing that is so important, even if the majority of the world is asleep.

Sadly, I feel that because the world is so interconnected to their mobile and other devices that it can indeed be hard to shut down from the world and take care of ourselves by getting the necessary rest that we need. It can be difficult to shut down from a period of engagement that is fulfilling and exciting in many ways. Being an adult and having to make the decision to stop what you are doing and switch gears to doing something as simple as taking a pill because you know that it is going to make you wind down from the day’s events feels like you are robbed of your freedom.

Yet, I know if I do not do this in the long run and take care of myself, I eventually will be setting up myself to be more prone to not be able to handle life as it comes, therefore putting me into a compromising position. It is not about if I take it one day and skip so many times, that does not help keep things balanced in the end. It is being a responsible adult and keeping balanced wellness and the medication helps do that. I can only flirt with disaster so many times before things cannot be repaired or swept under the rug for so long.

I must also understand that the other things do change and that not everything is not meant to be forever. This may seem uncomfortable in the beginning, but once I get used to the way that things are, it will be like anything else that I am used to. I must do my part and do things like take my medication to ensure that I am well equipped to handle these changes and be able to keep my emotions in check so I can live the life that I want and need to and not get into a compromising situation.

It can be easy to let the inner battles overpower you by dragging me down a path that I do not want to go, but I must remember the good things that happen when I do what is needed to take care of myself, that things are not seen as a punishment, rather they are a tool in my wellness toolbox that help me navigate a world that I struggle in.