Independence is a wonderful thing. Yet, there are those moments that if I allow my brain to overthink, it will distract itself from things that are helpful to me. While these thoughts are quite diminished than they used to be, it is still imperative that I do my best to avoid getting into a negative thought pattern.

I know that I cannot be overly hard on myself and that there are others that I can reach out to. I usually bounce back or can regroup my thoughts before allowing myself to fall into the state of negativity. I know that life is worth living and I am a resilient and inspirational person. There was a time not too long ago that I lived in a constant state of negativity.

Yet, over this year when there have been challenges that were unfortunate, I faced them head on and did what was needed to get back on track. It was living through a constant game of blaming others for the inability to address my own needs from the “empty” time I was facing. After decades of relying on others for my personal entertainment, I realized that as part of living on my own that I needed to keep myself entertained.

I had to come to terms with the fact that I do not have to constantly be engaged around the clock nor can I be around for every event that occurs in the world. Balancing sleep and other parts of my personal well-being are just as important. Therefore, If I am tired, I just need to take a nap just as long as my other obligations are met, and I can do other things that are imperative to my mental health. Things start to fall apart when I do not do things that are imperative to being well like taking care of my body and following through with other needed personal engagements.

I personally have a lot that can keep me busy, it is just the fact that I need to keep my brain focused on getting it engaged and grounded on them rather than dwelling on things that I personally cannot change or have no merit on being in my headspace in that very moment. When I engage in something that is healthy and interested in, my brain is more receptive to keeping engaged and does not allow negativity to enter my headspace.

I also now know that there are crucial life obligations that need to be met that are a part of me living independently including going to work and day program. Although at times, my brain will provide me scenarios that these activities are challenging to my mental health, it is quite the opposite. Thise things are imperative for my overall health and wellness and as I learned from being away from them for some time, my well-being declines when I do not have something to fill that void of time.  

While I do realize that I need to keep my brain engaged with things for my brain to be engaged, it is also imperative that I do things to relax and unwind from the stressors of life as I am more prone to sensory overload and experience autistic burnout sometimes. While naps can be quite helpful, when they are prolonged, they can cause me to spiral into negativity. It is important to know that I need to fight the urge to stay in bed all day or be in casual clothing for a prolonged amount of time.

Essentially, having the want and do in knowing that it is imperative for my overall well-being to keep engaged and focused on things that are healthy for me rather than focusing on negative things that can cause my mental health to spiral out of control from not taking care of my overall mental health by doing what is needed and has been proven to work while knowing that I am more complex and need to be kind to myself and give myself grace.