As a person who is autistic and has mental health challenges, fighting challenging thoughts has always been quite challenging. For most of my life, I verbally expressed these thoughts to anyone who would listen, but eventually with basic common-sense advice and medicine, I am able to bounce back better.

I know that as an autistic person with many other challenges that while I do so many good things in my life, that I do it alongside bearing a lot of things that are challenging for me. For years, I had not always been self-aware of how I cared for or treated myself. Moreso in recent years, I was totally ignoring the need to care for myself, thus the challenging thoughts can be quite ignited.

Even though the medicine is indeed helping, and I have had some common-sense therapy, there are moments that can set me back. This can be from the energy that others express in a room that I am present into things not going the way that I expect of plan. Yes, I know everything can go to plan, but when become highly sensitive to something, my anxiety kicks in and all I can think about is how to avoid the item that is indeed challenging for me.

In the past, and in the early days of being on my own, I had trouble refocusing on things that I know are helpful for me in avoiding the rumination to continue and spiral out of control. It can also be when I am unaware of something or fear the worst that the thoughts can heighten. Not knowing a perspective or whether something seems right due to me being autistic presents a challenge within itself and I know that I have the capability to do what is needed to get through the challenging moments that I face.

For the last few years, I have been living in a world of gloom and doom. No matter how many things were going for me, I always pointed out the challenges that I saw through my lens. I know that I am a very blessed and grateful person and am very fortunate to have the opportunity to do so many things. I guess now that I am better mentally, I take time to breathe and remind myself of the things that I need to be grateful for. It seriously is what helps me bounce back from those really challenging thoughts sometimes.

The thoughts mostly appear when there is a void in my surroundings, or I am not keeping myself occupied with something. It is not like I am shy of anything to do. There can be so much that needs to be done, yet I dwell so much in thought oftentimes. It can be challenging when I am sitting down procrastinating about getting active and working to get something done because I know that staying docile is not healthy for me and is not helpful to my overall well-being.,

Indeed, I know that I have a lot to bear in mind, but in no way am I throwing a pity party. I know that I am a wonderful person and can do anything I put my mind to. Everyone has their moments and for the longest time, it was hard to bounce back on my own. It is also following through and recognizing when my mental health is not up to par and when I need to take care of myself.

I know I should not feel ashamed when I must step back from something when it is too much. Yet, I know that I cannot dwell in a hotbed of negativity because that is not what the purpose of stepping back is. But I know that both go hand in hand in making sure my overall well-being is in check and I do not go down the destructive path like I did in the past. I can excel living on my own when I stay on track, it is when I veer off course is when things go array, and my world starts to collapse. I must grasp onto myself before it is too late. Essentially, I know what I need to do and that is what needs to be done. I have accomplished so much, and this is just another spoke in the wheel that needs to be fought like anything else I have ever fought for and thought. I know I can do this, and I got this.