In my last blog post, I shared that I was preparing for my return to work this week. I am much relieved that I was much more at ease than I thought it would have been. It was also quite fitting that my return was on World Mental Health Day and during National Disabilities Employment Awareness Month.  

The return was mostly fitting because when I left work in late August amid a mental health episode. My employer was amid the process of relocating to a new building. In a way, it was what I now call The Perfect Storm of what needed to happen for me to get on track overall. I am thankful to my support system and treatment team that acknowledged that I wasn’t taking care of myself and that I needed to take time to care of myself and not return to working until I was able to manage the challenges that come with having a job in addition to the other things in my life. 

With my employer relocating to a new building, I chose to not allow old habits to go there with me. Instead, I am choosing to put my mental health at the forefront. It is also picking up new habits and not allowing old habits to creep back into my life, especially because they were unhealthy and caused me to be mentally unwell. 

No matter the working capacity that someone is in, it can be easy to lose grasp of your priorities. However, I am here to tell you that you will struggle with your mental health unless you choose to take care of yourself first and foremost. I do understand that the economic state does not always allow us to take care of ourselves all the time, but I seriously needed a reset after many years of not caring for myself. Eventually, it caught up to me in a very bad way. 

It can be easy to put your mental health needs to the side when doing other things where you find accomplishment, purpose and pleasure in. However, should you have mental health challenges that require extra care and you do not take care of your mental health needs, others will pick up on your mental decomposition, as they did with me. Prior to my relapse before leaving work, while the behaviors were in cycles from not doing what I needed to do, they were eventually easier to pick up on. 

Thankfully, while going through the experiences I had went through leading to my episode, my parents who have known me all my life, picked up on it all along. Because of not taking care of myself, I brushed off their suggestion. However, as in the past when I needed them, they were there with their unwavering support and did what was needed without question. 

I am one who has always said that there is no shame in getting mental health care if you need it. Now that I have went through what I had went through, yet falsely following through the need for mental health care and not following through until I had to see that it was absolutely needed for me to live life as I needed and wanted to, My mental health treatments are a necessity for me to live the way that I wish to and I have understood that once and for all. 

I am extremely grateful that when I finally broke down that I was able to get home safely and get care to get back on track with advancements such as telehealth and other things that were once impossible years and decades ago. I couldn’t imagine the outcome if some accommodation had not been provided for me to be able to do what was needed within my own space.   

If anything, the need to be patient must be understood and accepted. Many times, we want to get back to the things that we have left prior to walking away to care for yourself. It is important to get your mental health affairs in order or you will never overcome your downfalls that got you to your lowest in the first place and could eventually lead you to an even lower place mentally. 

I have seen this many times in other individuals where they do not get their mental health stabilized and therefore enter a revolving cycle of not laying the proper groundwork to make sure that they have a continuity of care in order to live the lives that they need to live to the fullest, When I had my episode, I realized that I needed to get back on track and whatever time was needed to be taken to ensure that I went back to work in the best mental state possible. 

Now having a day at the new office, even though it still has some minor challenges, it is even more manageable than it was in the prior location. I personally affirm that in addition to the move, getting my mental health priorities in check, including psychotherapy, medication management, and proper nutritional needs, among other safeguards, coping strategies and defense mechanisms were needed in order to make the return a success. 

The important factors in all of this are to be honest, recognize when things aren’t right, or you need to take time to care for yourself. Seek help or advice, there are an abundance of resources out there should you need to seek assistance. There is no shame in getting help and it is better than living in the darkness of symptoms and suffering. 

There is no health without mental health.