Today is my last day of my little mini vacation and the end of my leave before having to return to full normalcy. It has been quite the experience and I have had quite the closure to this roller coaster of emotions that I have been on the past five years, but I am in a much better position to return to full normalcy than I ever have been.

Back on August 29^th of this year, I had a full-blown episode at work from not properly adhering to my medication regimen. I am extremely grateful that over the past five years that I have been extremely luck that I have not had a greatly undesirable outcome than I did. I learned more than ever that there are so many people who look up to and care about me more than I ever thought.

I now acknowledge and understand that I need to involve my family more in my life. Since my episode, we all as my immediate family have bonded more than ever and I am extremely grateful to have such a loving family. I know firsthand through my work and time at the day program that this is not something that everyone has at their disposal. Quite frankly, I don’t know if I would have been able to get back on track as well as I have without their unwavering support. Yes, I wasn’t honest with them for quite a while, and while that isn’t always the case with an autistic person, I now know that I cannot be helped mentally unless I am honest in a kind and cordial manner.

My treatment team has been second to none in aiding me get back on track. From my therapist who is quite the Godsend to the staff in the medical side of the mental health clinic. Once I became honest with them about what I was doing, I pledged to them that I need to be honest about what I am experiencing and through both them and my family, we will determine if a med change should be warranted.

I have been continually medication adherent since August 29^th, and I am a completely different person than I ever have been. This, along with the elimination of caffeine from my hydration intake has helped me immensely in my mental health recovery. I know these two elements of things I need to do in helping me stay well and do what is necessary to live independently.

I am extremely thankful for all of those that saw the signs when I did not. I gave people quite the scare of me not being able to do things that allistic people take for granted. I know that I let some people down, but if anything, I reminded myself of my peers who didn’t do what was necessary to get back on the right track, which was mostly not be in a hurry and jump from point A to Z.  If anything, I have learned in this process is that I do not need to be in a rush to do things that I need to do. That is where errors and things that do not need to occur take place.

On August 29^th, I closed the door on my former workplace as it was in the process of moving to its new location. Tomorrow, I will go to work in my new location. I did go on a brief walkthrough prior to the move taking place and while things are not 100% settled, I feel that I am ready to work after being fully recharged, medicated, and completing the final steps necessary to have plans in place should I become mentally unwell again. I am thankful that my employer has been supporting my mental health needs and taking care of my needs. I am confident that I will excel and be quite fine at getting back the final piece of my life that needed to be put in place when I was finally settled.

Since my episode, I have discovered so much about myself and that I am still the person that I want to be regardless of if my challenges and other necessary things like select medications or eliminating foods are needed for me to well overall.