25 years ago, per the advice of a mobile therapist who thought I had a diagnosis called Asperger’s Syndrome, I was enrolled in research study at the local university.

I got accepted. My parents took me and within 5 minutes, the world-renowned doctor said I met all the criteria.

I completed the study, among puberty and a very challenging year of Junior High.

After the study, I was referred to the university’s developmental disabilities clinic.

It was there I was given two of the psychotropic medications that I currently take today.

A known side effect of both medications is appetite and weight gain.

I always had this on my mind along with struggling with my body image and body positivity.

Yet, living with my parents, I was a closeted, emotional eater, thus making many poor food choices.

Then, I went to vocational trade school, where meals were provided, I had access to sodas.

That’s where my caffeine struggle began.

A few months after coming back home from trade school, I suggested my mom and I join a weight loss support group at our church, just down the street from our house.

We joined. For the longest time we were unsure for the longest time if we were in the right place.

We stuck it out. My weight continuing to creep slowly and slowly up.

Over 5 years ago, I moved out on my own. The group even collected money and gave me some tools.

Then I began to not make the wisest decisions over the past few years with my medications.

Along with that, I had issues with my first apartment, COVID happened.

Support group meetings were sporadic during COVID. Over two years ago, I reached my highest weight.

Throughout the summer, I made a destructive decision regarding my medication.

I finally accepted that medication is a necessity along with making necessary lifestyle changes to see if things could improve on my own.

Part of this is journaling factors about my overall wellness, factors I never struggled with.

Returning to the group this week after being gone for two weeks, I gained some of the weight I lost over the summer, but not all of it.

 I contribute this to starting to do what I needed to do since knowing I was struggling with the weight.

Gradually, I accepted all my challenges, but am being more proactive about making healthier decisions.

Now, I am seeing my weight starting to go down every day. I know this is happening because I am making healthier choices that needed to happen all along.

A phrase they say in our weight loss support group is “It works if you work it.”

Now doing that over two weeks and seeing things getting better. I know that is why they say it.

Day by day, sometimes hour by hour. I know now not to be critical about my challenges.

That includes the weight, accept it for what it is. Understand that perfection is not real.

I am healthy and well OVERALL, and that is what matters!