Something that I know that sometimes hits too close to home for me and is known among those closest to autistic people is the unique paradigm of how we treat those that love us the most. Despite all the love, it can be quite connective, yet it can be also the most taxing for the loved ones.

No one can deny the fact that it takes a lot to love an autistic person despite all the challenges that they face. Unconditional love is one of those things that is meant to the letter oftentimes between an autistic individuals and those that love and care for them. For those that love and care for them, they know that one needs to be cared for and be aware of all the challenges that can be faced when they are not in their grasp.

Likewise, it can be challenging for those that love and care for someone that is autistic to see past their most challenging moments, especially when they take it out on them both verbally and physically. It is very taxing and demanding. There is also the paradigm of balancing a sense of safety and wellbeing for all that are in the home unit. Indeed, there are times that it is too much and believe it or not , there was a point when I was a teenager that I not only put one parent at that point and caused them to separate for a short while. Just as they have had their experience, I have uniquely have had to experience the added challenges that this involved.

Besides managing to develop an unconditional love for their autistic loved one, there can also be the challenge of decisions regarding their care. When the ultimatum was put down and I was placed into residential treatment and thankfully the one that my parents did want, they fought tooth and nail to make sure I was place there. Yet, at my discharge, there was a split decision about whether I was indeed better and ready to return to where I left off a year prior. Some very challenging conversations took place, and yet the parent that I have had the most challenging dynamic with put their foot down and said they wanted me in their care. 

Yet, I continued with many shortfalls,and yet I was very hurtful to one parent while the other often came to the rescue. Despite the many challenges that I had towards them, they both had the unified goal of getting what I needed and making sure that I was successful in all of my endeavors. That is probably why I continually value their opinion, even many decades later.

Eventually for the most part, the public meltdowns I had in their presence subsided and to this day there are bouts of verbal attacks, but after myself deeply thinking about what was said without thinking, I put the thought to it and see where my bluntness and faults indeed are. I cannot thank them enough for their dedication of not only getting me the things that I needed to be successful, but also sticking it through the times I had become the challenging person and making me aware that I needed to keep the faith even if it may seem like the worst thing in the world.

I know that there are many of those that love and care for autistics all around the world that might be going through a rough patch, yet they see those times when their special one is at their best. Please let the latter be the silver lining of what gets you through and on to better days and points you in the better direction. Ultimately, take care of yourself and each other as well.