There are times I ponder on the reality of life. I often think that there is nothing beyond the here and now and while I am thankful for the things in life, I wonder in the later years, will I be more happier than I am now, or will it be the status quo.

In reality, I know that I am capable of more than I think I am. Many times, I just do what is comfortable for me because it is just that, comfortable and does not produce much anxiety. Nonetheless, reality hits at times that there are things that are not guaranteed to be in my life forever. Change is evident and that can be a hard thing to swallow because it makes me uncomfortable. As is with many autistic individuals, doing new things can cause increased anxiety and be quite scary because of knowing whether we will manage it well, like it or whether it will cause additional challenges.

I am the first to admit that I do what I do now because it is easy and I feel comfortable doing so. I know I could do so many other things to better myself, but for one reason or another , anxiety is produced and fears rise of doing something that is new and unknown for many reasons. Oftentimes, I feel that I will not fit in to things because of being autistic and my other challenges. It is sad that in 2023 that anyone has to struggle to be included and accepted into society despite the challenges that they face.

I guess that because I was bullied significantly throughout my youth that I often have a perceived fear of having to do things in life where I must interact with others because of my fear as to whether I will be accepted for all my quirks and challenges. This is commonplace among the autistic community, mostly due to the fact that we are often bullied in our childhood and sadly in many workplaces and post-secondary venues into adulthood. Again, this is sad that in 2023 that this is still a issue in the world, but I guess that is the way it is,

In the world, everything changes. Change is evident. It happens often and can be hard to accept for many, including the autistic population. But, it is reality and I can not tune out the fact that no one is guaranteed to be on this planet forever and the world does evolve day by day. Nonetheless, I do know that I have to do things that make me step outside of my comfort zone even if it does produce anxiety. That is where the coping skills and defense mechanisms come into play and I need to put them to use instead of running away from the things that make me uncomfortable.

There are things in life that are going to make everyone uncomfortable. Even though autistic people are more sensitive to change, it is necessary and real in life, whether we like to accept it or not, it is just the way that life is. It takes working to be more accommodating and accepting when we must change things in life for one reason or another because it is necessary to do so, it means that we as autistic people sometimes have to put ourselves out there more and more as life progresses because there needs to be an exposure to when things do not go according to plan due to nothing being guaranteed in life.