As an adult and moreso as an autistic adult, it can be hard to conceptualize reality and realize that there is a point that there are things that must be done in life, whether we like to do them or not, we can not avoid the things that sometimes produce anxiety and the unknown.

I have struggled with perceiving the reality of what it takes to be independent from time to time. There are times that I want to imagine that I can have the same life as I do now by not having to do things in life that at times can cause added anxiety. In reality, being anxious is not necessary, but my brain causes me to jump to that place from time to time for one reason or another. It can be because something triggers me about a situation that I cannot control.

When I am triggered by certain things, I often think there is no way but to avoid it. This is common in the autistic populace and we often enjoy doing the things that are safe to us because we are often very regimented and like things to go the way that works for us. However, over time I have had to accept the fact that there are things that must be done in order for me to attain the things in life I have, and that they may or may not be more challenging for me because of the challenges that I face.

There are moments that I can practice radical acceptance well and that is often in the times I can autistically mask myself from my honest feelings. I do know that in the dream situations of the neurotypical population, they too would like to have the opportunity to just do as they please. However, there comes the reality that they must also do the necessary. Nonetheless, in the autistic mind, the feeling of having to do the things that are necessary can cause added stress because of things that may trigger or make us feel uneasy.

Whether it is due to the unknown or those things that trigger our sensory palate, they can cause us to magnify the things that are challenging for a multitude of reasons that may seem strange or unfamiliar to us. When we as autistics react to things that seem miniscule to the neurotypical populace, it can frustrate us as autistics because they do not understand why something that is literally nothing to them can be so challenging for our minds. The reality is that our brains are wired differently and it is something that someone cannot see unless we as autistic people react negatively.

When autistics react negatively because they are triggered, oftentimes the reaction is seen rather than what we want to communicate to someone. It can be hard for us to feel comfortable as autistic individuals to express things that makes us uncomfortable because at times we feel that our issues will be disregarded because to the neurotypical mind, they are not the problems that we as autistic people face and that is what makes doing things that are necessary and present challenges more complicated than they need to be.

In the grand scheme of things,I know that I will have to face things in life that make me uncomfortable or may be unknown as to how they are going to go in life. That is what life is sometimes and we often learn and grow from those experiences that challenge us for one reason or another because we have to “toughen up” and be more capable than we think we are. I know that I am capable of more than I think of, and maybe that is what makes me stronger in the end.