Sometimes as an autistic person, we often center the world around us, thinking only about our needs. This can irritate others because we can forget or disregard their needs before and only think about ourselves without being considerate of others’ needs.

Personally, I have struggled with this off and on throughout my existence. However, it was not until I saw a clip from the final episode of The Big Bang Theory, where the autistically-perceived character Sheldon is called out by his wife Amy about this behavior and how everyone accepts the fact that he never means to not think about their needs above his own, as the world is centered around him and only he matters.

It makes me realize that I need to see the needs, wants and desires of others at times that it is appropriate to do so. It can be hard to be selfish in nature and seem as if only we matter. It could come from my upbringing as having my needs always met before others. This can cause tensions in households with siblings and without a doubt my sister that lived with me has been a casualty of this far too many times.

Growing up, it has always been difficult to have a life separate from those that care for me. There are times that they want to do things to take care of themselves that I feel as if I am being neglected, even though I am a grown adult and live on my own. There are also times I feel that those that care for me must meet my demands because they may be in the vicinity of where I am for the day and that I must be included in their plans, thus feeling I am entitled to having them to me just because they are nearby.

It has taken my parents at times in recent years to show the “tough love” that needed to be shown in order for me to grow up and do what needed to be done in order to not be the selfish little self that I could be. This has been hard to hear at times because it feels as if they are not caring about me, but it is also showing me that there will be a time that they are no longer going to be around to cater to my needs and that they are teaching me to use the tools necessary to get through the struggle that I am facing without them coming and solving the issue for me.

There are times that I put other needs above my own and believe me it isn’t easy to do. But that is part of what life is. It can be easy to think of only my needs and thinking that I am the only one with problems, but I know that is not true. There are many out there that can use my sense of caring and compassion and allowance of understanding of their needs before my own.

I would not want someone to not think of me in a positive way. It hurts me when I am given the cold shoulder or an attitude and I constantly think that I am doing something wrong. However, knowing that I think about others needs when I can I know helps to some degree. How they accept my caring and concern is up to their discretion. I know that not everyone will be satisfied with me, but I must hold up my end of the bargain and try to be the caring person that I know that I can be so that I at least do my part of the collaboration.