Being fit and well has been a long journey for me, but I must accept that I am nearing the point that I am on borrowed time for turning a corner to making changes towards a healthier lifestyle. It is doing what I need to do even if I do not want to because in the end my life depends on me being well so I can live as long as I can and want to .

There is no excuse that can prevent me from getting well both physically and mentally. Many times what sets me back is my anxiety from getting me out the door and down the street. As in many autistics, we are comfortable in our own spaces and as such we are reluctant to change our ways to allow ourselves to do what is necessary, even if we have done it before, the fear surmounts us every time. 

I, just as those clients on the TLC show My 600 pound life, deflect reality time and time again by not allowing myself to just do what is needed for me to take care of me, It at times is just getting out the door and going to the gym that I have access to and putting in the effort needed to make myself better. My body will thank me in  the end and while it indeed is a lifestyle change, it is the fact that I need to do things not only because they are needed but because I want to feel and look better.

Just as I had to come to terms with taking care of my mental health the last few months and the summer for the most part has been quite excellent. Now that I have gotten myself mentally under control, there needs to be more of a push to being physically well, including nourishing myself properly by eating nutrient dense foods and not the foods that can be challenging for weight loss. 

The fact of the matter is that I have run the cause of not being my best and when my weight plummeted back in 2019, the reason behind it was because i was not mentally taking care of myself. The weight would yo-yo greatly from week to week and others were along for the ride that I was on. I know that it was a disservice to myself and that is probably the catalyst of what made me put my foot down over a month ago and do what was right once and for all. 

Being honest with my weight struggles and not properly taking care of my mental health was causing the same effects as it did in 2019. When I began taking the medicine regularly, the weight went up immensely. Granted, I wasn’t the best at combating the issue, but getting back on track mentally made me see that I had to make an honest effort in losing weight on my own and if I had became unsuccessful in that attempt, I would have to look at options including medication to counteract the side effects that indeed cause the weight gain.

I wasn’t at all receptive at the fact of having to add to my medication regimen, but as I have been on the trajectory of losing weight again because I am doing the work, including fighting the temptations that food literally brings to my mind, I know that I have to be honest and get out there and try to do in on my own before exploring other options. It is taking care of me, because I matter and I am worth the hard work that I have to put into my body, even if it means realigning my priorities to better take care of myself.