Throughout my life, it has been hard to accept that while you want to do everything in the world, myself or any human simply cannot do such. It has taken me a long time to understand that I had to build a boundary wall around myself and choose who and what I allow to enter my life.

Many times, it can be hard to shut down the brain when it becomes fully engaged in something that deeply interests you. Or maybe you take on too much more than you can withstand and you become overwhelmed. Maybe you have that toxic person in your life that depletes so much energy that you never have a moment to relax. These have all happened to me in one or multiple moments at a time and it has put me into a very complex state.

It was hard for me to discover that I could say no to the things that I thought would be too much for me or have to walk away from something like an interest or a person that was overtaking my mind or space. I don’t have one answer that I could say that made me stand my ground and put my foot down and say no more. Maybe it was understanding that there not only needed to be a limit to something, but that there are things that are just not the norm in society.

Autistic people are often people pleasers and as such are very vulnerable when asked to take on or engage in something, even sometimes not moral or illegal, because they want to be accepted as being someone that they look up to. The autistic person thrives off of being liked because oftentimes we grow up in a world where we are not treated kindly and shunned away from being accepted as who we are. It is a delicate balancing act and even as hard as it is to walk away from something you want to be attached to, in the end you will feel better.

It takes at times seeing the whole picture when it comes to things as to whether the person will indeed find happiness when engaging in things that they are asked to. Is it because they are accepted for who they are and their needs and wants are respected? Is it a two-way interest in the fact that the needs of the autistic person and their counterpart are taken into consideration and accepted for what their needs are. Or is it to the point where the autistic person is doing the grunt work and little benefit is provided by the other side of the table or relationship. This is where you have to see if this is indeed a beneficial thing in reality.

Having to walk away from something that at times makes you feel good can be a very hard decision to make, but when it is taking so much out of you or when it consumes your life and those close to you are feeling the effect of it consuming your life, you have to stop and ask yourself is something really worth all that consumption. There were things that I have had to limit or walk away from in my life and at times I thought it was impossible to do so. But once I did, I felt so much more free than I had in a very long time. It is knowing when and how to say the word no or walking away from something, not because it is convenient for you, but because you know your limitations and when it will be too much for you.