Sometimes we have to give things a chance to work themselves out.

It has been nearly a month since I’ve been honestly adhering to my medication regimen.

I decided to come clean once and for all because of being on a journey after a month or so of my ignorance and inattention to it and other elements allowing me to properly regulate myself when times get challenging for me.

It was through grace that I got through my last meltdown unscathed and while things happened that were not all my fault, it taught me that I needed to learn, grow and get real about myself.

Yes, as I became steady with the medication for the first week or so, the side effects plagued my body. I gained a lot of weight but essentially I wasn’t caring for my body in the way that I needed through the previous course I was chartering, I was also meddling with my weight where it yo yoed.

This happened in 2019 when I was my worst and while it’s nice it’s not the ultimate goal for wellness

I did gain alot of weight over that initial week and haven’t had an official weigh in in two weeks but literally pounding the pavement and eating more se sensibly, by my own judgement I feel as if I am on a better trajectory.

I know that it’s not the end of my journey and that I have to be more proactive in doing things like utilizing the gym when I need to in order to combat my need to control my weight along with managing my nourishment before looking to explore other options with my prescribers in counteracting the appetite that has plaguing me for over the past two decades.

I know I need to control it before it takes control of me.

However weeks into being on the right track I’ve been much better mentally and for once I am actually enjoying a holiday, listening to music and doing things that I enjoy instead of thriving for survival as I have done the past few years.

It is turning a corner in my journey that’s for sure and now it’s time to combat other issues such as my physical health and wellness to see if I can indeed do it on my own.

I know that I have to do it because I WANT to not just because I NEED to or HAVE to!