In the course of life, the unexpected happens. Oftentimes we as autistic people go to those we seek for the answers to solve our problems at a moment’s notice. However, when we are told the answer that we do not like to hear because it does not meet our needs, then we have to wise up.

There are times in my life when things happen that make anyone’s life unpleasant. When one goes and looks for a solution and are told that it cannot be solved immediately, we are disappointed with the outcome. As such, in the relationship between an autistic person and the person that supports them, when the individual is not provided with the outcome that they desire, they sometimes push the issue greatly until a breaking point on either end.

I remember a handful of times when the best outcomes could have happened for me but at home behind closed doors, I was so demanding of my parents to meet my need to fuel my soda addiction that I could not control at the time. I remember begging and pleading severely until the dialogue was at the point where I was screaming exchanges and I was profusely upset until I finally had to fall asleep to calm down for the night,

For many autistics, parents are seen as the ones that are going to come to the rescue and solve the problems that we are facing and find a solution because we feel that they are not going to like us to be distressed. My parents growing up showed a strong sense of “tough love” where I had to learn the hardest of ways so that I could learn that I had to not expect them to be “on demand” when it was not necessary. It taught me that unless things were life threatning that I had to learn how to best control my actions and behavior so that the right choices were made in order to not have less-desirable outcomes happen as a result of not being a responsible adult.

I was thinking about this topic a few weeks ago when my air conditioner in my apartment was not working properly. After several attempts to get it back in service, it just seemed to not happen that way. Having another unit at my parents house, I reached out to them, expecting an immediate response. However, I was told that they had plans and that they were sure that I would be fine for the night as I could keep the windows open until I saw them the next day and after another attempt should the issue with the current air conditioner still be occurring, they would bring the other one and replace the unit.

Having this happen to me made me realize how sometimes we have to be the adult that is expected of us to be and just do what we are told because it is what is sometimes the more plausible situation in all the scenarios. Yes, the air conditioner probably needs an extended break to cool down from the excessive days and the weather for the rest of the day isn’t at all too bad. Rather, it is quite manageable and for one day, I feel I will be OK and can manage myself through what I am asked. I have done worse and mentally I was feeling quite normal, so I just wised up and planned to make the best of it.

Life is what you make it. Does it always give us what we want? Not all the time. Are we faced with challenges sometimes that are harder to bear than the rest of the world? Without a doubt. But one thing is that there is no sense of escalating about things we cannot control or make life worse for us.