For so long I was down and out about myself and constantly negative. I did not allow myself to recognize what life was. I did not accept it for what it was. I wasn’t patient for better days ahead. Over time I had to see the need to change my perspective. I needed to no longer be negative about things. Instead, I had to be positive and open. I learned to accept the here and now. I stopped being afraid of thoughts about what happen or what not even be real.

In the past, things were not always the most positive for me. I did not have the power to practice gratitude. I couldn’t accept what was happening. I didn’t see that I needed the wish to make changes. I had to improve how I carried myself. I also needed to see things better than I needed to be. While some things changed for the better, I still held onto the past. I was unwilling to let go of what seemed to matter. I needed to start living in the now. I also needed to see the potential for better days ahead.

Negative things can easily come to our world as autistic people. We often want to dwell on them, thinking they hold weight. They can often be what we allow to occupy and entertain us. Yet, there must be a part of us that looks past this. If it only makes us feel horrible and mentally down, it’s our responsibility. We must decide not to let irritating thoughts or those in our head keep us entertained. We do not have to pay attention to thoughts that don’t help us because they don’t help us.

It takes seeing what is good in our lives and the things we find to bring us joy and happiness. Sometimes, I need to wear headphones to distract me. They help me avoid thoughts that can bring me down. They also prevent me from getting involved in things I shouldn’t be in. Over the past two years, I have focused on putting my needs first. Although I have worn headphones for slightly over two decades, they help me through difficult times. Not having them can turn my day into a whirlwind of a mess. It is knowing that I don’t have to let everything that comes into my mind stay. Just because it happened years ago or made me feel a certain way doesn’t mean it has to continue. Especially if it no longer concerns or serves me in any way.

There is so much the world can offer me. I recognize it’s beyond what I have allowed myself to occupy my mind for so long. I entertained it just because it was there. But when it hurts me more than anything and doesn’t have a purpose, I have to ignore it. I need to focus on activities that help me avoid negative thoughts. These thoughts can bring me down if I allow them to. I know I don’t have to make the thoughts a part of my head if I don’t want them there. I recognize just because they exist doesn’t mean they belong in my mind. I know I can take action to avoid entertaining them. I will move on with my life toward what makes me happy and joyful.