Finding Mental Health Stability has always been a struggle since I was living on my own. Other factors, especially in the beginning of the process and leading up to the pandemic did not help. It took many years to recognize my situation. I made a few pointless and destructive decisions. Eventually, I realized I had to be honest and do the right thing. I needed to see the process take shape by being kind to myself along the way.

When starting to take care of my mental health, getting back on track can be challenging. It is easy to revert to old habits. These habits keep the cycle repeating. I had to learn that there were parts of me that deserved to be my best. Some things I allowed myself to believe about the medication just weren’t true. I fought through the grogginess. I did what I had to do, even when my brain wanted me to think I didn’t. This helped me get into a better place.

I saw and realized in others who crossed my path that the same people interacted with them and with me. They knew and saw the signs when I wasn’t mentally well. I had to stop playing pointless games with my mind. I felt it physically too. It was also tearing me down in that way. I was tired of feeling the way that I was. I was determined to do what it took to get back to the old me. This was before going on the destructive path I traveled.

I had to be patient. I needed to give myself grace when working to improve my mental health. Eventually, things got much better. Those around me knew I had improved. I then knew I did not want to let them down. I decided to start making better choices to care for my mental health. I wanted to do what was right not only for myself but for those around me too.

Mistakes can be made. It was also acknowledged that it is very important to pick myself back up. I had to work towards getting back on track as soon as possible. I knew that it was all about the progress and not being perfect. Having the needed consistency brought more stability to my system. It enabled me to do the things I wanted to do. I did not have to feel so down and out as I had been for so long. It was important to understand that things take time. Being kind, patient, and having grace were key factors in working to be better.

I knew that people were aware. Time and time again, I set myself up for danger. I experienced concern and fear before I noticed it was too late. I made it a point to protect myself. I wanted to avoid the conversation I did not want to have. I saw that things were getting better for me. People even complemented me. This gave me the determination I needed to get back on track once and for all. I resolved never to fall into past behaviors again.