Today marks America’s 250th anniversary. It is also known as the day the Declaration of Independence was signed on July 4, 1776. It is Independence Day in the United States. We have always celebrated holidays in a different way with family. I have begun to accept that as my family gets older, it is different now.

Life brings you circumstances that you don’t expect. Over the past few years I have had some members of my immediate family go through some pretty bad things. That means that things are not the same anymore. I always expected things to be lively and have routine. I had to learn that things are different now. I need to adapt and understand that life changes as I get older.

It has been hard to adapt to things as an autistic person. I learned that I would have to start the process of untethering because my family’s life had changed. It was initially hard. I was reluctant to accept the situation. After some pretty harrowing experiences, I learned it was the best situation for the moment. As my parents and others age, I would have to accept it as a part of life anyway.

Just because it looks different does not mean I make it all about me. It is not what I expected, but I do not get angry. There are times when I do get angry or feel hard about something. Still, it is appropriate to feel without putting others down about how I feel about things as they are. They are going through so much. The last thing they need is me being immature about what is not happening. They don’t need me to focus on how things are not like they used to be.

Over the past few years, I have learned that things can change in an instant. We are never guaranteed to have everything we expect forever. I had never thought life would be this way. I wanted to pass the blame on those it affected. I also wanted to pass the blame on those that had to go through it more than I did. I thought doing what was necessary make things better. Yet, I saw the effects and realized things are the way they are for a reason. It took a lot for me to change my perspective. I understood it wasn’t all about me. I needed to make the best of life and live it to the fullest. I also had to care for myself in the best way possible.

I had always wanted to make things what they were. Yet, I am beginning to see that we don’t have the power to go back to the way things were. It is important to cherish the memories we have. We should also cherish the ones we can still make. We don’t always know what we have until it’s gone. By then, it’s too late to do right and make amends with those we need to.