As we are nearly midway through the year I am beginning to accept what my new normal is. Late last year I had finally understood how simple and necessary it was to stay mentally well. I understood that it would be hard in the beginning, just like in many past attempts to find my way. Still, it would be no different this time. Things would eventually improve. I needed to adopt a better mindset. I also needed to allow events to unfold as they needed to.

In the past I had flawed thoughts about a particular medication. Once I made worse decisions other than making the same decision again and again and not having the favorable outcome that I desired because of not seeing the reality of what I was experiencing and understanding that the medication that I was fighting was actually needed because I accepted the feelings and what I was experiencing and that it was not normal to be the way that I was even though I had believed time and time I was masking the fact that I was okay, but deep down I was not and I understood that what I was experiencing was not normal and had to be corrected once and for all.

Getting through the first few days was hard as always. I knew I needed to be consistent. I couldn’t give up because this time I knew it was needed to sleep. I used to believe things about the medication. I let myself think it was causing issues that it wasn’t. This was because I was unwilling to let it work properly. The medication needed to find a healthy balance. It was necessary to understand my new normal. It had proven effective in the past. If I had given it the chance to work again, it would have helped. But I knew that sleep was a necessity. Being consistently awake throughout the day would help me get the sleep needed.

I chose to take care of my mental health for the right reasons. It made me more grounded and empowered me more than not taking the medication had done in the past. Taking the medication helped me be more successful in completing what I needed to do. It also provided me with a better focus and outlook on life. I worked on becoming more focused in finding my relationship with God and discovering my roots. I had to be honest with myself. I needed to accept things for what they are, once and for all.

It has been a long seven years. I have been on and off course from where I needed to be mentally. In the end, I eventually discovered that all medications prescribed to me are essential for daily living. When I don’t take them, others see that something isn’t right. They become scared and concerned. Although I can’t see it, it is the disease doing its dirty work. It is better to be medicated for many reasons. I am grateful for the hard work it took long ago to find the right cocktail. It still works today and gives me the best quality of life possible. I have accepted that it is the way that it is and that is what my new normal is.