Most of my life, I have felt the need to match the energy of others. Sometimes, I want them to feel the need to match my energy. For many years, I was unwell. I understood that it’s unhealthy and inappropriate to tell someone how you feel in that way. It’s more important to tackle the issue, not the problem. I have worked on letting go of the need to bring unwanted energy and emotions into my life.

I have recently noticed something important. Others are not going to match the energy I want to bring to the table. They did so in the past. Yet, bringing that energy can bring consequences. It does not solve things any faster than doing things the right way. Moreover, it is better to talk to people you trust in a healthier way. Choosing to be energetic can bring us down. By acting things out in our way, we sometimes go into a full-blown meltdown. This makes us feel horrible. Sometimes we still feel horrible about the havoc we caused years ago. When we are well, it takes having that conversation to understand that it was just a part of life. But I have seen that doing things that way no longer serves me. It does not serve me the way it did back then.

There was also a need to understand this. I needed to learn how to build better boundaries. These boundaries were important around those who brought unwanted energy into my life. Allowing myself to bring things ahead was counterproductive. Wanting to “jump on board” as I once became prone to doing only made situations worse. It caused more energy to be spent than what was needed. I also had to realize that it was sometimes unhealthy to do this. Even though things are sometimes wanted, there are healthier and more appropriate ways to act. It’s better to avoid getting entertained and energized by joining someone’s bandwagon. Avoid putting them down because they are not doing what you need them to do.

I know there are better ways to go about things. I should allow myself to be energized. I shouldn’t feel the need to energize others just to feel gratified. Seeking gratification just to get others to give me what I want isn’t the right approach. Indeed there is power in speaking up about the things you are concerned about or want to change. I also had to understand that some things are not in my control or within my power to change. It is about making sure that my needs are taken care of and that I feel calm and safe. This is the top priority. I need to know that some things are just out of my control.

It is better to let go of behaviors that are not appropriate. These behaviors have consequences. They no longer serve me in the way that they used to. I also know that doing what I need to do for myself is important. By not allowing myself to feed into the unhealthy energy of others, I can keep myself mentally well. Maintaining this mental wellness keeps me regulated.