It has been a while since I have finally gotten on track to head in a better direction. I had to understand that I needed to be patient with myself. I kept believing that there was something worth fighting for. I realized that things get better in time. It was important to not let old habits fall into place like I had allowed before. I had to be patient. I noticed that progress was not in a straight line. Doing what was needed was essential. It maintained the momentum. I avoided going back and forth, stuck in the same old rut that I had been in.

I realized this while working to get back on track. I had begun to see that most things get worse when people do not care for themselves. Those that help, support and often see us can see that we are not ourselves. For far too long, I hid what I was doing. I avoided seeing that it was hurting me. I had to do what I needed to do and be brave. This allowed me to see that life was better when I cared for myself. I learned to be patient in the beginning. I did not allow myself to dive deep into what was happening repeatedly before.

I began to be patient and noticed the progress. I slowly returned to the old me before the cycle of decline. I was patient and kind to myself after a med change made nearly seven years ago. I realized it was not a punishment. Instead, it was a tool to help keep me mentally stable and live the life I wanted. I stopped believing it was holding me back from doing things. Often, I was reminded these things didn’t happen. Documenting events showed that over time they were not as bad as I allowed myself to think. I focused more on caring for myself. I became more self-aware, and through consistency, I saw a difference in myself. Those around me saw it too.

I had seen that while I was becoming myself again, the progress was not straightforward. Still, it got better over time. I knew that I did not have to live in fear. By allowing myself to think, all the things I didn’t want to happen didn’t happen. I gave time to the things that needed to happen. This allowed them to get in my system and do the work needed to make me more mentally stable. Over time, I had gradually let go of the beliefs I had held. While things did happen, I focused on bouncing back better from mistakes. The goal was to stay on the right path.

It took time for me to have a sounding board. I needed to know what was working for me and what was not. I had to understand that giving myself a real chance was necessary. It was important to figure out if what was ordered for me was actually what I needed to do. After many years of thinking, I realized it was necessary. This approach had proven to work before, and it was working once again.