In life, there have been times when I let my anger and hurt control me. They affected my perception of people and things that caused me to feel the way I did. Eventually, I learned that I had to move past my thoughts about them. I realized these thoughts were based on my own hurt or anger. This was done after looking past the feeling by letting it go.

Autistic people have amazing and unique minds. We think and store the most unimaginable things that neurotypical can often let go and move on from. There are moments where our brain causes us things that make existing hard. It makes us have feelings that bring us down and can hurt or anger us. Sometimes that anger is carried on because we never processed it to see it can’t anger or hurt us anymore.

Our brain carries information that we read deeply, and we can’t let go of. Often, it can bring memories and emotions that make us ruminate and overthink. In my case, I often experience delayed echolalia as a way of living. This can tear us apart and not allow us to be free of something that can no longer hurt us. Sometimes, we connect those feelings to the people it involves without realizing that it is not their fault. Our brain carries a distorted view of things. We can be led to believe misconceptions without seeing the total picture or reality of the situation.

We start to move past anger. This happens once we see that what we held on to can no longer be perceived as such. The same is true for fear. We realize that we no longer have to be held captive to these thoughts. This realization opens the potential for us to relax. It also allows us to bring back the things that we once enjoyed without living on those feelings. We are so much more that the thoughts that fuel us to think in a hurtful way.

It has been a long time since I have held on to what I have been hurt and angered by. I finally realized what I let me feel angry and hurt about couldn’t do that anymore. There was much more in the world for me to consume and find joy in. Once I affirmed that my long-held beliefs couldn’t hurt me anymore, I felt peace. A great sense of peace washed over me. It allowed me to see beyond the hurt. I see the potential that was there all along. Things have the potential to be amazing if I allow myself to believe such.

There’s so much more to life than what we allow ourselves to be hurt and angry about. For far too long, I dwelled on my pain. I wanted to make the people I thought hurt me feel the same way I did. I missed seeing they were actually allies there to help me all along. I had to allow myself to see past the anger and hurt and see what was real.