It can be hard to understand why something can be bad for you when you are autistic. It is also difficult to know when to stop with it because of the way it makes you feel. As I began to understand myself better, I realized that some things were just too much for me. They had the capacity to send me into a virtual rabbit hole. This was unhealthy for me. Denying yourself things you think you want can be challenging. Yet, understanding the benefits of not having or doing them is important. In the long run, it can make you feel better.

Everything is out there for our consumption. But that does not mean we have to have it. It will not always be a good thing for all of us. Humans can handle things in their own way. They must be aware if something is hurting more than helping. Autistic individuals often struggle to see that being too attached can make it difficult to let go of things. Sometimes those who love us are the ones to notice that something is wrong. We may have to make things different for us.

That can sometimes mean that we have to put limits on the things we do. Sometimes, we need to ignore the things that overstimulate us too much. Occasionally, we need those who love us to set limits. They help us in saying no to the things we like. I was a soda addict. It was a constant back and forth with my parents. This happened when I lived with them. It often resulted in meltdowns. These were energized screaming matches about why they wouldn’t take me for what I wanted. I also thought I needed that. We never saw eye to eye on that and other things. I never really understood their reasoning. They cared for me and thought they were acting in my best interest, even though I couldn’t see it.

Eventually, when I had moved out on my own, I struggled with adhering to my medication. I also found it difficult to understand that I needed to get sleep. This played mind games with me, leading me to believe I did not need or want sleep. I thought I only wanted what was essential without seeing that my mental health was affecting my perceptions. This continued several times until others noticed. They were not only concerned but also scared. That realization made me understand that not sleeping was not normal or healthy. It wasn’t helping me as I thought it did. I realized I had to be the catalyst to understand why taking medicine as prescribed was important. Sometimes, maintaining a healthy balance involves setting limits and boundaries to be your best self every day.

It can be hard to understand and realize what is normal and what is not. Eventually, I saw that I had to do things differently, even if they were not what others can do. It is not about everyone else. It’s about me and caring for myself first and foremost. Part of that is knowing what is bad for me and keeping away. I need to set things, so I am not stricken into being vulnerable. I must focus on doing what I am led to do. Understanding what right is is my first priority.