Throughout my time of self-discovery, I have always feared the worst. This fear occurred whenever I wanted to get back into caring for my mental health. I had long believed that the one thing I was fighting with would not allow me to get up. I thought it would keep me down and prevent me from carrying on with my day as needed. I lived in fear that doing the right thing would cause a situation I didn’t want. This fear arose after experiencing it once in my life. Later, I realized that it was OK to do what I needed to do, even if mistakes happen.

For the longest time, I lived with the fear that I did not do what was expected of me. I was afraid it would have a horrible effect on me and prevent me from being a good person. I avoided being real about my mental health or mistakes. This avoidance continued until it became too visible. It caused great concern and fear in those who cared about me. I felt ashamed to admit that a mistake was made. I had to take more time to do what was needed. I also had to accept that it was OK to have a mental health day to recover from mistakes.

But, time and time again, I would realize something. When I did the one thing that made things right, everything worked out as it should. This happened within time and by being patient with myself in the process. When I started doing what was right for the final time, I realized something important. I understood that after being kind and patient with my mind, I recognized it takes time for things to work. Things I once feared were not going to happen. I obtained what I needed. Those who observed my behavior noticed a remarkable difference. This change occurred because I cared for myself in the necessary way. I did this once and for all.

They had known what I knew about myself. People knew when things weren’t right. I thought bad things would happen by doing what was right. I did what was right slowly as I was able. It wasn’t the total solution to the other things I had trouble with. Nor were the counter causes that I experienced. I needed a deeper understanding that the signs were there. I had the mental health care that I needed and was well. Yet, it also required being real about my nutritional, physical, and financial health. These were all casualties of being unwell. They didn’t crash in what they were until a more mentally lucid state was achieved.

For me, it took seeing that I got the rest I wanted. I became mentally well to the point where other people saw a difference in me. I needed to understand how to combat the barriers that drove fear in past situations. These barriers drove me off course. It took tackling those issues in a better way by doing what was right once and for all. I and others were starting to see the real me come back to life.