Nearly two years ago, I was very unwell and on the edge of a manic episode. I was approaching two decades of being in day services for most of my adult life. I believed that I did not need them. I was making some decisions that I had no business making. Thankfully, through my supports and my family, I realized I needed to return to day services. I had to work on my mental health because it was something that required attention.

I made that decision nearly two years ago. Since then, I have worked so hard to get my mental health into a good place. And as of right now it has been so much better than it was back then. It took me time to comprehend the need for my medication. It is a powerful tool to help keep my mental health symptoms at bay. I also worked greatly on improving many other facets of my mental health.

It took finding, collecting, and storing the right information. I needed to have it at my disposal. Then, I put it into practice at those moments when it was most important for me to refer to it. I knew how much my mental health matters in the things I doing need to navigate this world. It can be hard when my mental health is not at its best. Sometimes a little extra care is needed and that is perfectly normal too.

I wanted to pass the blame for my actions towards others for far too long. I tried to blame those who stressed me out. I felt embarrassed. I realized that many people knew I had the power to be an amazing person. I had to realize that I myself was the one behind my actions. My lack of regard for taking my medication as prescribed was an issue. There were also other issues that needed attention.

Over the years, things have changed. I realized the need to follow expectations. I understood there would not be as much latitude if I acted out again. There were harsh consequences if I made certain choices. These consequences would be detrimental to many aspects of my life. That made me see the importance of having things like day service to keep things in check. It also allowed me to have the connection I needed with other humans. Otherwise, I would not have this connection if I was not working or if my family support me.

I had to confirm that day services are there for me. My mind has deceived me in believing otherwise. They will support me if I ask for the right help. I should ask when I need it. I have been there most of my adult life. A part of me has a heart there. I would not be whole without it. It is something that I truly need in my life.