Over time, I have had difficulty when it comes to what I have discovered as self-advocacy. While it is a new buzzword, it has been a battle throughout my life. I believed it was about getting what I want instead of what I need when I struggle. I have had to learn that it is about speaking up. It is also about understanding the appropriate way to do so. This ensures you are seen as the person who can be valued for who you are.

There has been many times when I have not felt that things were in my favor. Sometimes this has resulted in having a hatred towards others for reasons that were not justified. I also ended up believing that things were inevitable. Some things seemed unfair. I felt that I was not receiving what I deserved. This happened because I was led to believe things that were not as they had to be. Sometimes it was hard to understand that there was a paradigm to how things were. I was unwilling to see that at times.

At times, I have felt the need to speak up about things. In the past, I have not always done so in the most appropriate way. This has sometimes caused tension between me and other parties. I believed things should always be the way I thought they should be. I also believed that I had a voice because I was known in certain circles. I thought I had the power to use that voice to pursue what I felt needed to be. This pursuit was driven by my past feelings and hatred towards people.

Eventually, I learned that when I used my voice inappropriately, it caused more tension. This led to things heading in the wrong direction. I also understood that my past behavior was no longer acceptable. As things had changed, I was given less latitude. I also understood that I needed to take care of my mental health properly. This was necessary to prevent things from becoming as hostile as they were in the past. By doing so, the potential for hostility was no longer there. I realized expectations must be met. Failing to meet them can lead to consequences.

Through time, I have learned that speaking in the appropriate manner is effective. Not bringing up the issues of other parties can help. Discussing how others act or how I believe they should act isn’t necessary. These approaches go a long way in getting things accomplished. You need to be open and honest. Communicate the best way you can with those you trust. Make them aware of the issues you need to advocate for. Explain why something is an issue and why it affects you.

It is through that it is your mission to get what is needed can be paid off. It’s not always about getting what you want by making others feel bad. It’s about getting what you need to bring a solution to the table. This solution gets the necessary task done. This ensures your needs are met and you are safe, so things can be achieved.