A Journal Entry

Some Days Don’t Go The Way You Have Them Planned

Some Days Don’t Go The Way, You Have Them Planned

Today was one of the days that didn’t go the way I had planned.

I ignored the alarm and slept in.

I got up within time to do what I needed to in order to head out the door, but I knew it would set me back later in the day and inflict pain and further harm.

It has taken me until my late 30s to realize that “stuff happens” and you don’t have to conform to what is expected of you all the time.

You must pick your battles in life.
It is not me being lazy, it is me knowing that I would not be my best today.

No there isn’t anything wrong now, but it made me realize the importance of taking care of myself consistently.

Those years of having to conform to a schedule can make it harder to accept that it is OK do what you need to do to take care of myself.

Despite the autistic stereotype, I thought about “fighting it” for a few minutes and struggled before calling off today.

Even after broken communication had transport here anyway, I was not nearly ready to go at a moment’s notice.

I feel like garbage that I had to stay home today.

I took care of me by getting more rest.

I did get moving in the afternoon, went to the dollar store and cooked a nice dinner.

I couldn’t imagine the day if I didn’t take care of myself.

I probably would end up looping or falling into the trap.

But I learned that I need to take better care of myself.

And that is OK. Not to beat myself up over it,

Taking care of me, that is what matters.

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