I have finally gotten into the groove that I needed for a while. I have now understood what is expected of me. I also know how to conduct myself in the outside world. For far too long, I did not care for myself the way I needed to. This neglect put me in situations where I second-guessed if what I was doing was right. I couldn’t see that I wasn’t taking care of myself properly. This neglect made me irritable and on edge countless times. I often worried if something bad was going to happen.

I finally understood that not caring for myself as I needed to made me feel insecure about my actions. I knew there were expectations to meet, including caring for my mental health. Nevertheless, I often ignored this because I believed things that were not true. I thought I did not need what was essential for daily living. Instead, I just passed through without acknowledging the essentials.

Eventually I learned that not having what was necessary to survive was only hurting me more and more. If I did not do what I needed to do, eventually I would crash and burn. Doing that several times in the past caused fear and concern for my well-being. For the longest time, I didn’t want to believe that I needed certain things to care for myself. Still, those things helped me know and understand what was expected of me. They kept me stable enough to live in the way that humans were expected to live.

I got tired of repeatedly having the same conversation. I wasn’t caring for myself and then tried to deflect, making others believe that I was. The reality was that others knew when I wasn’t taking care of myself. They would eventually bring the issue to me or someone else. I realized that I had to stop what I was doing once and for all. It was essential and crucial to do what was expected. Now, having continual stability, I fully understand. There is a need to know what is expected of me. I must understand the consequences and risks of not doing so. It’s important to understand why consistency is key. This way, I avoid the trap. It’s the same old trap I ended up in repeatedly in the past.

I had to learn to let go of the flawed thoughts and beliefs I held about neglecting my mental health. These beliefs stemmed from the disorders doing their dirty work because I was not treating them. This led me to believe I didn’t need to care for my mental health. Eventually, I saw how much I had hurt myself and others. This realization helped me understand how crucial and necessary mental health care is for daily living. Knowing what’s expected of me is important. This applies both in my personal life and in the world. Neglect can lead to dire consequences. It became clear that caring for my mental health is essential for living the life I need to live.