In life, I often expect that my parents are going to be here forever and that they are going to do things that I need to have done in my life for me. But in recent months as my father has not been able to be with us because of his injury, I have started to learn to do more things independently while understanding that they are not going to be here forever.

The understanding of needing to be able to do things more independently was made aware earlier this week when my family had put together a new computer desk and I had to get the old one to the large item pile in my apartment complex for removal. As I had started to make the way to get it there, it had begun to fall apart, making me frustrated. As such, a call was made to my mother who was already on the way to get me for a function that evening. But I could tell the frustration in her voice about having to help me get this piece of furniture there which was nothing as much as simple push of an item that already had wheels up the street to the disposal pile.

Before she had arrived, I was able to get the largest piece there but there was a slightly smaller piece that was a little more frustrating to get there and by the time that I had neared the refuse pile, I was getting slower at my approach. She was near me in her car and once I got it on the pile and in her car, I expressed how she did not help me even though I was becoming frustrated with it. She noted that I must start to be more independent as she is getting older and things like that are not as easy for her anymore.

I do agree that she has her own challenges and that she had to start to push something independent for me to do, because there needs to be more of an understanding that when other people cannot save me from doing things that I need to do in life. Even though I am autistic and have other challenges, it does not make any excuse from doing things that are simple in nature and are a way of showing my independence.

Sometimes in life, I need to have that tough love because even though attempts were made at a very young age to ensure that I could be more independent, I expressed challenges in doing so, and as such my parents became frustrated when I would not be able to do the things that they asked of me. It was often a constant battle in my adulthood and eventually my parents gave into doing things for me.

When I moved into my first apartment, I was not totally equipped for living independently and it was not only frustrating, but also very challenging for me to live my life on top of everything that was wrong with my life. After I closed the door on that apartment and eventually secured my current home, I worked more on my independent living skills at the  day services. First with cleaning, then with cooking and finally with budgeting. Now that I have begun to understand that things are much better with my mental health, I am working on my mental wellness to ensure that things like relapses do not happen again.

But being well for the longest time since living on my own has allowed me to see that I can do many things towards doing more things independently because I know I must have the quality of life I deserve. Seeing things being cleaned and completed gives me a great sense of pride in the place I call home and pride in the life I live.

Sometimes things take time to fully comprehend and understand for me to realize that they too need to be a part of my daily makeup in life. It is never too late in life to learn how to so something if the concept is attained and there is an understanding of the necessity its completion and knowing what is necessary for independent living. Even if it may seem frustrating at the time, you will never realize when you will need to apply the skills that you learn into real life situations.