Adulting, Independence, Uncategorized

Adulting: Being the Adult

One of the hardest things when it comes to living my life is having to do things that adults do. While these sometimes may have a more intensive degree of intensity for an autistic person, many times it just takes getting out the door, and getting off to a right start.

As I have said time and time again, many autistics are challenged by crushing anxiety that because of excessive amounts of adrenaline and cortisol in the body, it can be hard to do things that may seem challenging or have unknown factors. It is many times because we want to deflect from things that seem challenging to us. It is perceived that we want to be childish in nature and not face life’s requirements head on.

Granted,in many instances,the world is simply not met to best accommodate our needs and there needs to be plenty of work in this area. However, when reasonable accommodations are made in order to best provide us with some of the things we need, we must be willing to meet it halfway. Just being autistic does not give us a complete pass or way out of things if someone is willing to try to meet our needs in a way that can make things a little easier. 

I get that feelings intensify when facing things that are unknown to us, but come with a requirement for us to complete. There are just things in life that have to be done if you want other things to happen. It is part of the deal of life sometimes. Fighting that initial fear can feel crushing and you can come up with a million reasons why you can’t or won’t do something because it is easier to get out of something that seems scary at the time or may cause conflicting reactions, but if you know that once you get acclimated to what you need to do and your needs are met, then you wonder why you did all that worrying in the first place.

It cannot be said that you also need to make some time to take care of yourself, especially if circumstances that you do have to endure are more challenging than you expect. Sometimes, things happen and unexpected change can be more challenging. There is also the imbalance of sensory input that can be a culprit of being excessively burned out and therefore, it is essential that you take care of yourself and get the necessary recharging period in order to get back out there again.

Now granted, there are autistics that just cannot mask and for them, doing things that require extra effort or produce extremely intensive sensory input will result in needing more time to properly regulate. Some say why take them out of their safe environment and put them into places like programs and work. I often think about what would happen if I forgone things like day program or work and having a complete void would look like 

I know that as challenging the motions that I endure can sometimes be intense and challenging, in reality they are not as bad as they could be. I know many others that do not have the ability to do what I do or could never have the independence, employment that I have. It’s not that it is a desire, however there are challenges that are produced that make these things challenging and they let me know this and it sort of puts things in perspective that I need to keep going for me and the hope of not only them, but several others that look up to me.

It is often that my anxiety plays a part in flight mode and wanting to run away from the fear that it produces about life’s expectations like employment and other engagements that initially seem challenging or unknown. However, it is fighting the fight, being the adult and doing what is expected. 

I have spent countless years in therapy and services not listening or understanding how challenging things can be and not recognizing the need to take time for me when necessary, but there are times I must realize that I must be an adult and do the right thing even though it seems if it is not the favorite thing to do. It is what at times helps me be able to do the things that I want to do and that other things that must be endured are a part of being an adult and doing what must be done.

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