It can be easy to say that ‘the past is the past.’ When you have an autistic brain, it constantly thinks about feeling hurt for no reason. You are led to believe that you needed to be hurt, seeing things in a false light. It becomes hard to let go of things. They have been a part of your overthinking pattern for so long. It prevents you from seeing that there is a way beyond the past.

I have been told time and time again to let go of what was. I need to be hopeful about the future. I must see that things are much better than they were. I know they are. I hurt without any reason. I do so because my brain constantly urges me to. I am reassured that I am fine. I have worked greatly on myself. I have also focused on rebuilding those relationships. I never saw these relationships in my best light. Now, I can trust in them. They have seen me become a better person. There are still moments when my autism affects me. It makes me think I can change the past or seek retribution for past hurts. Deep down, I know that solves nothing. It is best to move on and know that things are much better.

Yes, there was good and bad things that happened in the past. I often remind myself that I am not in constant flight mode like I was in the past. I used to think I had to run away from things. I did not see that things were not as bad as they seemed. I also realize now that they can get better. They did improve. There are so many things to be grateful for. The love shown to me has been beyond words. There are so many reasons to be happy for the things that I have and how things are. Yet there are still moments when things hurt. They want to bring me down for no reason other than echolalia and autism affecting my brain.

Over the past few years, I have been told to see the good things in my life. It continues to be what keeps me going. It also inspires those who look up to me. I am seen as a shining example of someone battling autism and mental health. I strive to keep life at its best by daring to dream. Those are some of the biggest reasons that I keep going. I know not to react in ways that I did in the past. I think of them and understand that they would not want me to act in a childish way. Life can sometimes be hard and unfair.

I can’t change what happened in the past. Still, I can move on from the things that hurt me and brought me down. I know that they can’t hurt me anymore. I need to shine for the people I meet in the outside world. I must continue to impress them. Even when I am by myself, I must keep this because life can be hard and tough. But I am strong and have resilience.