Over the past several years of living on my own, I have balanced using my own autonomy and knowledge. I discerned what was true and what to share with my parents. I realized they know me well, which was beneficial. It helped me see I still need that balance. I keep my autonomous ability to solve issues. My parents serve as a sounding board, and they need to be there sometimes.

When I had first moved out on my own, I thought I knew everything. I was very reluctant to let my parents know about my life. I was rebellious and did many things that were just not the right thing to do. In the beginning, it often tore apart the relationship I had with my mother. She has been there for me, but my actions made her live in fear for a very long time. This happened even as I made my most pointless and destructive decisions. She and others allowed me to live my freedom and loved me through it. They saw that I was often not myself and was heading to a point of crashing.

They were scared even at my worst. I was unable and unwilling to see it. When it got to its worst, it was too late for me to grasp what needed to be done. They helped me get back on track time and time again because of their love. They supported me during those first many years when I struggled, even as other things got in the way. They had done so many things out of the goodness of their own heart and continue to do so. I can never repay them for the many things that they have done out of their love. We are family. We were raised to do what is necessary to care for our family. That means making it first place in our lives.

Still today, I look to my family for guidance and insight. I need this support in situations where I don’t always know what is best for me. They give me the confidence to do what I know is best for me. I know not to let my anxiety get to me. I follow the will of my family and myself. During my upbringing, they showed me that I need to work or attend day service. This helps to keep my mind fulfilled. At times, I have wanted to not be a part of that or run away. I learned to be patient with things as they unfolded.

Family isn’t always about blood to some people, and I respect that. I’ve had to take a good look at things when they seemed to be at their lowest. I learned to navigate life on my own. I realized they have my back through it all and continue to support me in the ways that I need. This taught me to view situations as they are needed. It’s challenging, but I must do what is necessary.