Over the past few years, I have worked to be mentally grounded. I have become better at defining what is for my consumption. This includes my own likes and dislikes. I have learned not to share every detail about my life with the world. Understanding social constructs isn’t always easy for autistic folks like me. Yet, by taking care of my mental health and working on my mental wellness, I am improving. I am getting better at knowing what does not cross that public line.

The past years prior have been challenging for me. They made it difficult to understand the necessity of caring for my mental health. But, I now realize the value that comes when it is cared for. I now have a clearer understanding of what should be shared in the public eye. I also know what should stay private. Being mentally well allows me to see and understand that there are appropriate times and places for certain things. Some topics are meant to be shared, while others are not. While these things are not clearly expressed, there is no need to express them clearly. It requires having a connection and understanding. Those who need to know what is necessary for me to care for myself must be involved.

I am far past the point of where autism is cute and funny. Even brutally honest things are said, and they are not always appropriate. I now know that there are specific times, people, and places for those conversations. Some things are just taboo in certain instances. I want to share the joy in some of my personal achievements. But, I learned that some should not be shared. It is better to keep my personal milestones and joy to myself. Having journals, planners, and calendars can be small yet significant. They help make me or anyone else feel good. They also support celebrating personal achievements.

Without a doubt, it has been a long time. I have been navigating with the mental balance I needed since living on my own. But as I become more grounded over time, I realize that the things I have maintained for decades are purposeful. While things have happened, I believe they occurred to strengthen my commitment to caring for my mental health. They also help me better understand how to live independently as an autistic adult.

I am grateful to those who support the work. They do what is needed to keep me informed. They also help others who don’t always understand things that are unclear. Their efforts guarantee nothing crosses the line into the outside world. I have paid the price over the past four decades. This experience has taught me what is to be shared and what is not. It has also taken many years of not being my best self. I made pointless and destructive decisions about caring for my mental health. These years taught me that when all the right things fall in place, the best life can be had. All the tools can be experienced and utilized to prevent things from crossing a line that I dare not cross.