Over the past several years, my mental health challenges overwhelmed me. I struggled to distinguish between what was real and what was not. It made me as someone else to myself and others. They thought that was truly who I was. But, I realized I had to be real and honest about myself. Putting myself and my mental health at the forefront mattered more than anything that seemed out of place.

For me I had to see the things that I was doing when I was not myself. Then, when I was honest, I had conversations with others about what was necessary to care for myself. It required an honest understanding with me. People had to accept me for who I was. I should not compromise my mental health to conform to someone else’s desires. Neglecting my mental health in the past led to difficult situations. They were hard to understand even under the best mental faculties. At first, it was hard to accept my circumstances. I was not caring for my mental health. I was focused on experiencing only the part of the person I wanted to see. The disease was doing its dirty work. I did not see the need to do what was right for me. I ignored what was happening beyond my real life.

As hard as this was to accept, around Valentines Day, I had to accept a difficult truth. I needed to be real about who I was with myself and others. I had to understand that everyone was not going to understand me. Others don’t think or see things in the way that I do. What mattered most was accepting what was real in myself. This was important for both me and others. I needed to make sure they understood what they were seeing when I was truly myself. This meant acknowledging when I did things that were not normal for me. It was then up to them to accept me for who I truly was. I had to accept it as well. Even if it was going to hurt, it was what was best for my mental health. It also helped others see me for the right reasons.

By not caring about my mental health, it painted a picture of me that was not true. In some ways, it instilled fear and concern in those who knew the real me. Those who didn’t know me saw someone unfamiliar. Eventually, I grew tired of adopting different personas due to my mental health challenges. I understood the importance of caring for my mental health and being kind to myself. It took having crucial conversations when the opportunity arose. Ultimately, after being real, it was up to those who wanted to accept what was real or not. They had to decide what they wanted to make of it. In the end, what mattered most was that I was caring for my mental health. People had to accept that side of me the most.