For more than seven of the past eight years, I struggled to adhere to my mental health medication regimen. This was because I had theories that were baseless and untrue. What I realized that they were true and by being consistent, things got better in the long run. I saw that I can have the life I want. I do not have to make my existence a constant battle.

For years, I had baseless theories about my capabilities with the medication. I fought believing that picking back would hurt me. In fact, it was what I needed to make the day as good as it needed to be. It was necessary to cope with challenges. Believing that my prescribed medications have always worked as needed was hard. I had to prove it to myself. It mattered more than what anyone else said, or what those who knew or what they led me to believe.

I had to let go of things that I knew deep down were unhealthy for me. These things caused outcomes I did not want. Likewise, I believed something was not possible. Nonetheless, I realized it can happen. It took patience and understanding to see its potential to come to fruition. Eventually, I realized that with all my medications in place, I exist as needed. I no longer followed the misconceptions of being unmedicated. I know that all of them are very important. They are necessary tools for existing in a world that needs me to always be at my best.

Living in fear of medication outcomes or dwelling on my incapabilities didn’t matter. What mattered was my mental health and making that a priority this year. I accepted that the battle I was fighting wasn’t worth the reality. The theories I led myself to believe stood in stark contrast to the truth I had to face. I also understood that if the medication affected me more than I expected, it was okay to take more time. I focus on caring for myself. It was acceptable to focus on my well-being. Being honest was better than neglecting my own care and putting myself in a dangerous situation.

In the end, I knew I no longer needed to live in a lie. I was pretending to care for my mental health when I was not. Others saw what I was doing. It was not explicitly stated. However, it was evident because of the history I had with the people that crossed my path. I had realized that at times it took doing what it took. There was also the reality that eventually, something would crash or burn. Eventually, scrutiny would make it a reality. It was just a necessity to face the facts and do what was needed for the betterment of all .

I finally let go of the pointless theories that I allowed myself to believe. I focused on doing what was right for me to be my best self every day. As a result, things got better. This led to consistency and stability, making me a better person.