Over the year or so, I have learned the necessity of being more independent. I have also accepted the need to fend for my needs on my own. There have been times when this has been hard to accept. Still, I understand that it is what it is. Unless I am willing to forgo other comforts, it is what I must be willing to accept. It is part of learning what being a true independent adult is. You must accept that it isn’t always the responsibility of others to do things outside their necessary duties. People don’t have to do things if they are not required to do so. You should not expect them to do it for you.

Accepting that responsibility was one of the hardest things I had to do. When I visit places with less support, I must take action to manage myself. If I need something, then it is up to me to ask for it. Not everyone is guaranteed to know us as well as everyone does. It involves being more self-sustaining. I must be self-aware of what I need and recognize that I am my own person. Except in extenuating circumstances, I am expected to handle things without added support tiers.

You need to understand that fending on your own means recognizing personal boundaries. It also involves separating what is yours from what belongs to others. At first it was hard to accept this. In certain situations, those above me do not need to be friends. I do not need to pry into their lives. My life is mine. When I need to focus on what I am to do, that becomes the primary focus. It is not about what I want from someone or something that does not intend the same for me.

Everyone has their own lives and that is for them to have. I have the right to share what I choose and know is safe. I also decide what I want to keep to myself. I understand that at times people and connections change. I must be willing to accept and adapt to what is, even if it can be hard. I realized the genuine purpose of being somewhere. That is where I needed to shift my focus. It was more important than trying to connect, belong, or be someone else’s friend. It is helpful to know that those things often exist best beyond the places of turmoil. Such places have caused unhealthy ruminations. Obsession and excessive echolalia in the past were unhealthy for me.

I have understood the necessity of defining new boundaries. I must know what stays along those lines and what must be done to exist and protect my mental health. This is for the betterment of me. I adhere to expectations and demands. I must also distinguish what is not expected or wanted to happen in those environments. It is defining the lines and boundaries I must create and never cross.