Throughout life, I have been told things to do when things become difficult and overwhelming. Many times after being prompted to do something that was proven to be helpful, I remained persistent. This was because others would not back down in their fight to assert themselves. They did not see that their actions were more detrimental. Sometimes I had no control and cause a lot of fear. Eventually, I had to realize something important. I needed to use the right tools to regulate myself during tense moments. Otherwise, I was heading in a bad direction. I also let many others down. They knew I had the capacity to understand what to do. My approach wasn’t as good as it should be.

In recent years, when I am dysregulated, I use my words as ways to show how I feel. In some cases, I used those words and did not get the response I desired. I realized that problems wouldn’t be solved. Making threats to assert people to give in to what I found comfort in was not effective. I discovered it was true not only for me. It was also true for the witnesses of some of my most challenging moments. They deserved to see the mature person that they knew me as. I did not have to act immature to show my feelings.

I have several tools in my arsenal for each and every situation that makes me agitated or dysregulated. I can do things if I am determined to do what is needed. This will not only prove what it takes to overcome my challenges. It will also show others that they can mature too. For far too long I believed by acting out that it would get me what I wanted. Sometimes it did, but it caused great concern for my wellbeing. Eventually, I realized I was on a thin line. I knew I should never react in that way. There are expectations in society that must be met. By not adhering to the expectations, I risked facing detrimental consequences. This has set me back greatly. Instead, I have used the techniques and skills I worked hard to learn. That approach would have resolved everything much better.

Indeed, I have matured and grown by leaps and bounds in the last few years. I was mentally unstable. I saw reasons to take care and improve myself. Instead of setting myself up for going down an undesired path, I took steps to change. I had conversations with those I looked up to. They valued me greatly even when I was not deserving of such. I realized I need to do things that help me regulate myself better. I must put into action the tools I gained and knew, instead of being dismissive.

I continue to see the potential that I have by doing things that are helpful for me. I have proven time and time again that I have what it takes. I use the tools in my toolbox to flourish. I excel more than I dare to dream.