In 2026, I became more mentally settled. I discovered how I was ordered to care for my mental health. It turned out that this was actually how I needed to care for myself all along. What happened in the past was in the past. It was a lesson to avoid continuing down the pointless and destructive path I had followed. It took time to work towards my baseline. Still, it was well worth the effort. Seeing all the things that had happened motivated me to keep doing the best things for myself.

I had been working on becoming more adherent before the start of 2026. But, realizing how much I wanted to defy the odds made me think I had control over my mental health. In fact, I did not, and it never produced the situation I wanted. I did not want to feel the negative physical sensations I was hiding. Eventually, I realized it was obvious when I was not taking my medication as I was supposed to.

There was joy and celebration in knowing that things got better. Having others compliment me on how I was doing and looking also brought joy. This joy was sometimes needed to get through the hard times. While things can happen, I knew it was important to get back on track. I had to be kind to myself when I wanted to fall into old habits. I also understood that not caring for myself was never good, especially when it became unmanageable.

Knowing it was the right thing to do kept me grounded. The cocktail of medications I had to take also contributed to this grounding. There was no shame in needing them to live the life I wanted. I knew how to handle life. I accepted that it was a necessity in my life. It was not the fake sense of feeling good that I had felt for so long. This was until I became mentally grounded and felt my old self again.

Granted in the near seven or eight years that I fought this battle, there was always volatility and changes. Not caring for myself added unwanted and unnecessary fuel to the fire. The illnesses then did their dirty work, making things worse. It took some hard epiphanies for me to realize that I did not want to experience them again. I did whatever it took to find the necessary mental state. I am now living the best way that I can.

I knew it was exactly what I was to do all along. Being triggered by believing things without actually verifying them was not the wisest decision. I needed to take the time to care for myself to see how things would turn out. Things were in place for a reason. I had to let go of the old ways and start believing that this was the best way to live.