I used to overthink the way I did or said things for the longest time. I believed I was always under the microscope of what others thought of me. But I began to realize they do not worry about me in the same way. I think they worry about me because of how my brain is wired. In that way, it is not as important to worry as much as I do. They are often not thinking on the same level about me.

When you couple anxiety and autism, it can steal so much ease and joy out of that person. It can always make them feel judged for everything they do. They fear being told or called out about it. But what I had to learn was that they are not thinking about the same things you are worrying about. You think they are mostly not caring about the thing you said or did some time ago. Their brain does not worry as intensely about things. This is different from you as a person who is autistic and/or experiencing anxiety.

I had to learn to not live in fear of what others had said or thought of me. My life was my own to live. I needed to care for my well-being in the way everyone, including myself, knew was necessary. This approach removed the need to overthink. I didn’t need to live in fear or judgment about what I had believed. There was something I had done to make them think about what they had thought about me in that moment. Rarely did something done or said by others lead them to hold judgments or fears shortly after. These things did not need to consume my nights and weekends. I stopped second guessing myself constantly. I stopped worrying about what I did in a situation. This habit caused me to overthink.

I had to come to terms with letting go of my fear. I worried about what other people were thinking, but it was often not about me. I realized that I did not need to live my life in fear of others’ opinions. They say something that will catch me off guard, but I decided not to let that stop me. I lived life as I chose to live it. I did not let myself overthink and worry about the little things. These were things I slipped up on or thought were quite small. They were small compared to the big picture of what was going on in their lives. They often had more going on than what I allowed myself to be entertained by.

I learned that if I was ever going to overcome my anxiety, I would have to stop overthinking everything. I needed to stop worrying about all possible outcomes from my actions. I also had to let go of believing that my actions were mistakes. There is so much more than allowing myself to believe that there was power in worrying about everything.