At the beginning of the year, I started improving myself. I knew that I had to be kinder to myself. Changes do not happen overnight. There is no such thing as being perfect. Mistakes will happen along the way as you try to achieve what I have in mind. I know I have to keep on going when setbacks occur. I will never, ever give up on my dreams.

I have defied the odds on many things. The experts and professionals wouldn’t believe what I am doing now. Even I had doubts about myself during the worst times of living on my own. I questioned if I was going to make it because I was constantly in a negative state. The cycles repeated. I would take the right steps and face a setback. Then, I kept away from getting back on track. It took me time to realize my mental health challenges were sabotaging me. They stopped me from seeing the potential outcomes. I couldn’t grasp doing what I always knew was right or working towards my dreams.

Once I had start doing what was right and I was better mentally, others saw it too. It made me want to keep doing what I was doing. No matter what, I would try my best to stay on track as much as possible. I knew there would be moments that set me back. But I had to get back on track quickly. I needed to care for myself in whatever way was necessary. I knew I had to be kinder to my mind. I realized that messing around and playing mind games with it was unhelpful. I did not want to fail at my overall mission. People like me have the ability to do things that I worked so hard to achieve. I was not going to throw it out the window on a whim by doing reckless things.

I had to get real with myself. It was necessary to take decisive action. I also knew it wasn’t going to be easy. At times, I would want to give into the old ways that set me back. One of the first staff members I met at day services encouraged me to resist my desires. They motivated me to make the right choices. It mattered not only to me but also to those who cared for me. I knew that they recognized when I was not at my best. I knew if I wanted to break the cycle, I had to be the catalyst. I had to do whatever it took and keep going when it got tough. By fighting through the challenges, I realized it would eventually get better. It was always right to do the right things, something that I was taught throughout life.

Change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to make a habit. I need to have persistence when things try to set me back into old ways. I knew that it was also important to be patient and kind to myself. I must never, ever give up.