I have been attending Church in some form or fashion since I was a young boy. Until recently, I struggled to understand the reasoning behind it. I also found it difficult to apply what I got out of it to my life. Back then, it seemed impossible to make it through church. As I have matured and become mentally stable, I began to take it more to heart.

Today I attend the same church in my hometown. I went there as a young boy nearly three decades ago. I had a hard time sitting still back then. It was hard to focus. I often needed a bathroom break. My mom would only allow me to go during offering time or before service. That behavior no longer exists because I understand how important Church is and why I am there. I for some time sang in the church choir and was an acolyte. I always remember the challenging time during advent. I had to light all the candles, and the first one would not light. It was so hard back then not to get angry. That was a significant early step. It happened before I really knew what was going on with my mind.

I come from the time when we didn’t have the technology we have now. I was shocked when my church added television screens. These were used so PowerPoint presentations of the order of service were displayed. Many churches have closed over the past several years because they didn’t have them. I now see they are a necessity in today’s world. Church time is for immersing myself in my spirituality and for finding my personal connection with God. I have since learned to spend time with the Bible each morning. I have devotions before heading out every day. This practice is crucial to strengthening my relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

I’ve faced plenty of imperfect times there. I’ve grown and matured past most of them. I did not pursue the traditional course of becoming a member of the church as a teenager. Instead, I became a member at the age of 13 and was baptized at 10 years old. Autism is messy and life sometimes gets in the way of pursuing life’s intended trajectory, so you create your own. That’s how life is with autism.

I experienced some of my worst mental health challenges when I returned to church in 2023. It wasn’t until the end of 2025 that I realized I needed to build a relationship with God. I understood that I had to start by forgiving myself for my irrational behavior. It was important to do what was right for me. I aimed to align myself with God and Christianity once and for all. Deep down, I knew He had always been there for me. He never gave up on me, even at my worst. I owed it to Him to develop a closer relationship. My goal was to grow in my Walk with God. I aimed to become a better Christian and strengthen my bond with Jesus Christ.

Autism looks different in each and every autistic person. The same can be said for how one chooses to honor their higher power. I know to never judge or expect anyone to follow my path. Nor did I ever expect my path to be what it is. Earlier in the year, someone asked about helping an autistic child go to church with them online. I was moved by this and felt compelled to share my experience.