In today’s world there is not one picture that defines what autism is. There are many sides to it, many triumphs, and deceits. It is not always sunshine and rainbows. While the world is working toward autism acceptance, it is accepting ALL parts of Autism. The good, the bad, the ugly and all in between.

While in April, whether you see that there is a greater push towards awareness and acceptance. It is not just in those moments when autism is at its brightest. It is at all the moments and all autistic persons, without passing judgments or stereotypes about what autism is or is not, what autistic people can or cannot do. What autistic people and those that care for them struggle and challenge with. The bittersweet moments of autism, the entire package of it, not just what is convenient to those that are in the do-good moment.

It has taken me a long time to accept my autism and the challenges that it brings to my life. Although there have been many good moments in my life as an autistic person, there have been just as many challenging or unpleasant moments that are not openly discussed in the world. It is those things that are not pretty to talk about or are appropriate to discuss in a public setting. I for a fact know that my loved ones and I are one of many that have struggled during my life because of my autistic struggles.

It is the things that sever relationships between those that care for autistic individuals, siblings felt left out from their struggles and not see as attended to as their autistic siblings. The stories that you do not share in the public arena. The things that you safeguard from having the autistic person seen as “bad” or “trouble.” Things that can cause being involved in the legal system. Those caring for the autistic individual taking all kinds of abuse and letting themselves go to help the autistic ones that they care for have a decent life by making sure that they are well and satisfied.

It means making sacrifices, having things be different, adjusting your lives and so much more. It is educating, advocating and being the bear in the room. The store in the systems that will not conform to the offer at hand. It means not giving up when things are challenging, yet knowing when you are at your wit’s end and need additional support for the one that you are caring for. It is lying up at night thinking what will happen when those you love or yourself as the carer will no longer be here to make sure they are safe, and their needs are met. It is worrying that what is safe in their lives is no longer there to lean on. It is the reality that keeps autistic people and the ones in charge of their care up at night wondering about their future.

But there is hope and while in the beginning things may seem overwhelming at the brunt of all the things being thrown in the path that autism brings you, know that there is hope and promises of better days and brightness ahead despite what can look like something scary.