Even as I see life for what it is, I am working more and more to accept this reality. I must do things to live, but that does not make me any less. I can do what it takes to live through necessary tasks. I will not feel inferior to anyone else. My needs are different from what others see or live.

For years, while I was battling issues related to my mental health, I couldn’t see that my life was different. It was OK to have to care for myself in the way that I needed. I had to do this to have the best quality of life possible. I felt ashamed of myself for having to do things that were difficult and different. These included going to bed at an early hour or sleeping excessively. I was bothered by things not being like how so many others are living.

I had to start to see things for what they were. I had to see things differently, no matter what I led myself to believe. My life was not perfect or up to society’s norms. I wasn’t allowing myself to be my best. This prevented me from realizing that I had to do what I needed to do. Sometimes it was hard for things to be the best they would be for me. Just because I have to do things differently does not mean that life is not something that is less lived.

America puts things for us that we have to live up to certain standards and be certain ways about ourselves. It is not seen, but I am thriving in life beyond my own belief. Even at the hardest times, I feel like I am not doing enough. Yet I am doing what I need to do to survive what life offers. I am not doing the things that society thinks I am. That does not make me any less of a person. To move on, I needed to grasp that there is much more to life. It extends beyond what society wants us to perceive. I realized that my life is different, but it is not less than those around me. There is no shame in not having or doing what society expects.

For a long time, I convinced myself to believe that I needed to pursue things. These things were often too high for me to obtain or even consider doing. I did this simply because the world wanted me to or because I felt the culture required matching an identity. There was no shame in being the person I was becoming. If I cared for myself as needed, I approach things correctly. Then, I was willing to accept life as it was. It was a life that did not make me seem to be less than who I really am.

I had to let go of what society expected of me. I realized that things were fine just as they were. The life that I was living was different, but it did not make me any less of a person. I was not less of a person just because I had done things differently. They were just what they were and in place for reasons that had to be for me to be me.