I have acted childish for most of my life. This behavior was particularly obvious around my parents. It occurred especially when I did not get what I wanted. I eventually learned the hard way. Some things can be hard. Nonetheless, acting immature and childish does not improve things. If seen by the wrong people, it can make me look foolish and like a baby.

Throughout life I was told that I was not to use my being autistic as an excuse. Although things can be hard, I have the skills, tools, and words. I can use these when I need to get through a situation. They help me when I need assistance in dealing with something. A few years ago, despite having the skills, I acted childish and immature. This happened when I was out with my mother and was not having one of my best days. I acted this way for no reason at all.

In my parents’ eyes, I acted like a child a lot. Just because of the family dynamic and being pushed out of my comfort zone, I would react inappropriately. I would stomp my feet, scream, yell, you name it. A few years ago, I was in public and acted immaturely for no reason. A few guys in another parking row saw me. I was acting like a little child because items were falling out of the bags. I was having a hard time getting them into my mother’s car. Being made fun of and laughed at was a struggle. It was just as difficult as doing the things that were hard to do in that situation. It was a time when things were not going well for me. From that moment, I vowed to not act that way in public as much as possible.

I had gotten tired of seeing myself as an adult child. My parents saw me this way because I was unwilling to mature. I needed to prove to them that I was mature enough. I wanted to be the person they believed I was and knew I was capable of being. Without a doubt, I felt most comfortable being vulnerable around my mother. I wanted her to sympathize with my reluctance to do necessary things like work and day services. This was because I was unwilling to mature. I didn’t accept things for what they were, even though they were better in many ways. Often, I wanted her to sympathize with me when I thought I needed to avoid something out of fear.

She is the tough but fair mother she needs to be. She constantly pushes me to do what is needed. Even when her and my father’s life is challenging, they press on. That proves I have the power to adult and do what is needed, no matter how hard it can be. Mostly it starts with being mature. I must prove that I don’t have to act like a child to have my needs known. I can express when something is too much for me. There are ways to go about communicating about things.