For a very long time, I have held on to much of the past. I didn’t even realize it was still hurting me. It affected me in ways that I did not see. I had to realize that the only way for me to move on was to understand my thinking patterns. The scripts I was saying and other things were forms of bullying. The more I reflected on them, the more I recognized they were detrimental to my mental health.

Taking medications has proved to be beneficial in many ways. Still, I couldn’t see that being consistent and patient with them was important. I realized that the past was the past. Everyone makes mistakes and we learn from them. Things change too. We start to see that what we want to believe no longer has a purpose. Because of things that have become reality, they have no need to be a part of my thinking. I held on to things that no longer served me. I had feelings because I was led to believe they were needed. They no longer need to be thought of in that way. Nor do they need to drive things that are not a part of reality. Eventually, the changes became part of standard practices in similar situations. They also became the catalyst for thinking about many situations that wanted to bring me down.

Now, I know for certain that things will not return to the way they were. The biggest changes have already occurred. I understand they were detrimental. The current state of things will become a part of life. It works much better than I ever thought it would. I learned that it was time to finally close the chapter on the past. Knowing that I can very unlikely be hurt is reassuring. I realized I can’t reignite the past’s energy. This realization has driven me to allow change to happen.

Other things have happened in the course of the past few years. It is known that being well and knowledgeable about that the past can’t hurt me anymore. What I had been led to believe was not even what was true. Things are much better because they are. Even if things aren’t exactly what we want them to be right now, we understand that it takes patience. Things need to happen in their own way to be successful.

Patience hasn’t always been my strong suit. But, I am much better at being patient now. I am grounded in what I must do. No one expects things to turn out as they do. Often, they can actually be better than you imagine. Sometimes, it’s difficult to change and let go of the past. This is often due to pain or repetitive thoughts. Still, there is much more to discover beyond ruminating on things that shouldn’t be held onto. Reality is in a much better place than what I want to believe.