As I shared yesterday, I have determined that I need day services along with work in order to have a successful, thriving life. Part of that was knowing my ‘why’ instead of finding ways to complain about having to go or the struggles that are faced as a result of having to take the extra steps that I need to take to go to day service.

Yes, it is an earlier start to each day. This requires me to go to bed earlier each day and as a result I have had a flawed relationship with the need to do so over the past few years. However, I now understand that it is essential for my mental well-being to do so. I did it all those years before I moved out on my own and had no issues because it was expected of my parents that I would take my nighttime medication. As a result, I was tired and would go to bed early.

Upon moving out, I had believed that my parents were doing this as a punishment rather than the reality that something like sleep was essential in addition to the autistic burnout that I now realize that I was experiencing, it was seeing it in the aforementioned light that I needed to not only get my mental health under control but also understand that getting the necessary sleep was essential for me to function.

As a result of me knowing that I not only need to go to day services in addition to work but also know my role and why I am there. I have gotten better at not needing to solve all the problems that I am not there to fix along with understanding that I do not need to do everything that needs done. It is knowing why I go and do what I need to do when I am there. Being there because it improves my mental health and that also taking care of my mental health makes me my best when I am there.

Life used to seem unfair or that I tried to control everything because it provided the reptation that was needed for my routine. But eventually I realized that I could not control everything and that I had to be patient and that requires taking care of my mental health. Life can seem unfair at times, but I know I need to push through what I am experiencing and do the best that I can along with knowing the reason why I am where and need to be where I am.