Throughout my life, I have been anxious about many things that are out of my control. Often during my nearly seven years of living independently, I struggled to understand my thought process. I believed irrational thoughts that were invalid. These thoughts were due to the buildup of deadlines and cortisol. I was so dysregulated that I couldn’t regulate myself in the worst times. I lacked the ability to seek support from others.

Over the past year one of my goals at day services was to work on better communicating with others. I also focused on managing my mental health challenges. A key factor of developing a Wellness Recovery Action Plan, or WRAP, was to handle challenging moments on my own. If that was not possible, the choice was to reach out to a support system. Over the course of the past year, the availability of several of my supports has changed drastically. Despite this, I have begun to become more comfortable practicing healthier coping skills. I am capable of managing myself when I do not have the support to allow me to do so.

I now realize other key features are essential for my mental well-being. I know it’s equally important to have coping strategies for challenging situations. I face these on a daily basis. Sometimes they are on a bus when a wait is longer than expected. Other times, I am at home and allow myself to ruminate over thoughts. These thoughts either be irrational or out of control. No matter the situation, I am always responsible for conducting myself properly in the outside world. I must use the necessary tools to get through my tasks without reacting negatively.

Life can be challenging for autistic people, especially someone like myself when I have co-occurring anxiety among other challenges. I know that I have to cope. It must be in a way that is healthy and does not harm other areas of my mental well-being. This includes my wish to eat and the need to let go of excess energy. Excess energy builds up when I am dysregulated. This happens because my anxiety causes me to overthink. I need to manage these thoughts even if they can’t be controlled at that moment. The main goal is to get my emotions under control.

I have come a long way in understanding the responsibilities of managing my emotions. Controlling them in a world where not everyone understands or accepts what I am going through is essential. This is important for daily living. It helps sustain the support and desires I need to have the best quality of life possible. These are just some of the tools in my toolbox. They help me regulate myself back to where I need to be. This allows me to be my best self when I need to be. I strive to be the one that others look up to, someone who has conquered the world.