As I get back to where I left off on my journey and finally being happy in the journey as an independent autistic man, I am learning that the things that were the cause of me declining, hitting rock bottom and slowly bouncing back to where I am today had a great deal of what was I allowed my mind to believe.
I am human. I am, not perfect.
Novrmber 13, 2022 - Three years from the day of a what I call a Nice Selfie in 2019, as I and the world was starting to crash.
For most of the 33 years of my life, I lived under my parents’ roof. As such I was often coddled because of my challenges in life. Oftentimes I followed suit in their choices they made for me. Now in my fourth year of independence, I am learning that I have to think and decide for myself what is necessary for me in my life, because I am the one that has to live with the choices I make.
So, this past week as I navigate the world, I am beginning to realize that I may have different preferences than those close to me and I am realizing that I have the right to have the choices that I have to do the things in life that I want as long as they do not cause an hindrance to anyone. As such, I realize how much my thinking has been skewed by the way I thought I had to follow the choices of those close to me.
One of the traits of my being autistic is being socially awkward. While I have come a long way in understanding the social nuances of the world, there’s times of connecting with others that has caused a regression of wanting to extend myself out again with the feeling of being hurt or rejected for who I am, although in many cases, I am assured that is not the case and I am accepted for who I am.
Recently, I have been mostly in a bad spot. I have realized that I have spun into this pattern of self-sabotage of not wanting to reach out to those that reach out to me for friendship and support. I live in fear of many actions that I have experienced in past experiences and relationships that came mostly from toxic people, although not all people are that way, I automatically jump to that theory because of having many toxic relationships and having skewed thoughts.
I come to you on another Wednesday, in a much better state than the last few. It has taken me a while to recoup from what is hopefully the last of an almost four year relapse that I have been experiencing that I had finally had an epiphany a few weeks ago.
With independence comes freedom. It can sometimes spiral out of control. However, you must realize that there are things that you must keep in your life even as you become independent because they are necessary for maintaining daily wellness.
Sometimes after we grow, we begin to learn. We begin to feel confident about making sound choices and becoming less dependent on relying on others to accept or oblige by our choices. After all, as long as our mentality is stable, we are adults, so we should be able to choose what we want to do without having to rely on the approval of others.
Privacy is a human right. HIPPA laws give us this right regarding our health information, but when people with I/DD are receiving services, others or even ourselves, may forget about this right. Self-advocates state that if there is anything going on in their lives regarding sexuality, everyone knows about it and talks about it. If they mention wanting privacy with a partner, “a team meeting is called” and suddenly, they have no privacy regarding their personal information.
Many times when anyone is given a lifelong diagnosis, they or those that care for them think of all the things they will miss out on in life and if they will have the same lives as others. They may want to give up hope and the possibilities or continually live in a sense of doubt or fear. I am here to tell you that while in a minimal sense that I can be there, I can also tell you that if you reach out of your comfort zone.
There is no room for hate.Whatever you may think.Whatever you want to believe.Regardless of what you see.Leave your hate at the door.The world needs love.It's been a wild ride the past few years.Whatever you love.It doesn't make you any less of a person.Know that the struggles are real and they're tough.But it gets better because… Continue reading No Room for Hate.
Spending over three years being an independent autistic man, and now being at the point I can finally say that after a three year rumspringa of sorts of playing almost roulette with my wellness, I can finally say that I am in a good place mentally and can see what putting in the fruits of my labor can do my life and the potential of it going forward.
NOTE: I want to disclose that this review is for either Adults on Autism Spectrum as the book intended or for those aiding such individuals in this aspect. For some, this may be too much to digest for their ASD person and that is OK, however I feel it is in good interest that this book is a important tool for this often taboo subject in individuals on the spectrum.
This quick Kindle read takes the reader on the course of a young man who battles his autistic desires for the feel the female skin, but receives many shortcomings based on the inability to know the social construct that becomes unknown to many on the autism spectrum face. The author also explains him being homophobically bullied because he did not associate with a female aquantience in school growing up and the trauma it caused.
A Book Review the Book: Gender Identity, Sexuality and Autism by Eva A. Mendes (Author), Meredith R. Maroney (Author), Wenn Lawson (Foreword)
We grow up as young boys and girls We're told that we are to befriend our peers Many of peers on peers in school charter these scary waters for the first time we snarl. For we are doing only what we are told. We're included in mates birthday's Some are just with us boys, some… Continue reading The Network
Around the time this book was written the author's name was brought up in conversation as "the one who got it." Little did I know of 17 years of molding into the man I have become, and a unique 50 cent book in a thrift shop, I would discover that the book would make me… Continue reading Book Review: Demystifying the Autistic Experience: A Humanistic Introduction for Parents, Caregivers and Educators (2002)
In 2018, NPR ran a series called “Abused and Betrayed” which highlighted the underreported statistics of sexual victimization against individuals with developmental disabilities. NPR found that individuals with developmental disabilities were at risk of sexual abuse at a rate of seven times higher than the general population. Many factors put individuals with developmental disabilities at risk for sexual abuse, including limited knowledge regarding healthy relationships and limited body autonomy.