There are times when I get stuck in The Loop that I fall into The Trap.
One of the biggest challenges I have experienced in my life that I am still overcoming is my anxiety. It is a common comorbidity with autism and as such can produce many challenges in the daily lives of the autistic person, and as such I am no casualty in this regard.
One of the traits of my being autistic is being socially awkward. While I have come a long way in understanding the social nuances of the world, there’s times of connecting with others that has caused a regression of wanting to extend myself out again with the feeling of being hurt or rejected for who I am, although in many cases, I am assured that is not the case and I am accepted for who I am.
Recently, I have been mostly in a bad spot. I have realized that I have spun into this pattern of self-sabotage of not wanting to reach out to those that reach out to me for friendship and support. I live in fear of many actions that I have experienced in past experiences and relationships that came mostly from toxic people, although not all people are that way, I automatically jump to that theory because of having many toxic relationships and having skewed thoughts.