Many times, those who do not know my whole life story approach me and say “you are such a positive person.” I acknowledge that but in reality, fighting the ability to remain positive can indeed be very challenging for me.
Over the past weeks when being out and about, I have had to learn that regardless what someone ha cause me or what I personally feel about them, I musnt treat them differently because of that, I have to remember that they are just a person as much as I am and it doesn’t cost anything for me to be nice to them.
For the month of April and Autism Awareness / Acceptance Month, I have been writing on how the acceptance of the autistic community has increased in the 23 years since I received my diagnosis under the autism spectrum. This past week, I learned that even more acceptance has been seen, but yet we still have a ways to go.
Over the decades I have heard that a perceived trait of autistic behavior is acting out inappropriate behavior to get what you want without accepting the consequences of said actions. While all autistics may have not had the ability to accept the fact that there indeed needs to be consequences for any wrong actions that complete, if not taught, it could lead to a very troubling adulthood in which can inflict gradually worse challenges if not instilled.
In recent years, there has been much divide between self-advocates and family members of autistics about the advocating for all autistics. Sometimes when either side is advocating for things that they are passionate about, it must be understood that it is their experience and that everyone experiences things differently as autism is indeed a spectrum disorder.
As part of experience, a recent journey of self-discovery and acceptance has made me realize the fact that I can only have the physical and mental capability to only withstand so much. I have begun to accept the fact that at times we cannot do what we intend or want to do and while being independent comes with a sense of responsibility, we must learn to properly balance our lives in order to maintain optimum wellness both mentally and physically.
Lately, I have been on a journey of acceptance, discovery, and growth. It has been astonishing in the past few months how far I have grown into a man and discovering that what I am feeling and what I need to do to be well is possible and acceptable. I can no longer live in shame about what I have to do to stay well and be who I want to be.
As autistics, sometimes we hear things that we don’t care to hear like being told to do things we don’t want to do. For many years I would become a spoiled little brat and act out because these things were not the way that I wanted them to be. I had to learn that part of adulting is learning to accept the unpleasant and being able to tolerate those elements by using coping skills to manage their unpleasantness.
Sometimes as an autisitc person, I just want to not try to put an effort towards what I am doing. I have to say that if I didn’t have a multitude of support in my world, I probably would have ended in a long-term placement. While supports are good to have, they are not the answer to all your solutions and you must do the work too to your ability to show you can be a part of the solution.